Schmoigerman Winds Up Another 419'er - requests soup recipe from Chang Wantan

BS"D

If this yukel falls for this one then he is the dumbest accumulation of cells that has inhabited the earth since the extinction of the dodo bird!

LS"D

Dear Mr Wantan:

I would be very delighted to assist you with every form of moral, financial and athletic support necessary for the mutual success of our transaction. I am a graduate of the Madoff Institute of Financial Defalcations and as such am one of the few licenced financial defalcators who is able to assist you in this most defalcatory and unsavoury transaction.

However, since it is clear to me that you are of the famous Wantan family which has bestowed its gift of Wantan soup to the world, and particularly to Chinese restaurants, I would appreciate your sending me, post haste, your paternal grandmother's recipe for same.

Sincerely,

Grand Rabbi Pandit Guru Dawood Singh Azazel Schmoigerman
Sing Sing Chinese Food Importers
Ossining, New York

-----Original Message-----
From: Chang Wantan [mailto:inpexcorporation@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, November 23, 2009 3:40 AM
Subject: Legal Representative Postion

Dear Sir/Madam,

It is a pleasure to write to you in respect of our company, TEIKOKU OIL &
GAS CO., LTD(INPEX CORPORATION). We are experts in the sales of raw materials.
We export into the Canada/America/parts of Europe. We are searching for representatives
who can help us establish a medium of getting our funds from our costumers

Update. Even 419 scammer stupidity has its limits. Mr Chang Wantan did not reply and of course at least one E-mail address of his bounced. Oh, well.

The End - Schmoigerman Bows Out...

BS"D

Remaining Anonymous to suha, graham
show details 12:21 AM (0 minutes ago)

Reply

LS"D

As you have not been forthcoming with any information regarding the fallaciousness of the "Red Security Company," and you have caused me to travel to Dubai for no reason whatsoever, thereby depriving my congregation of 150 quintillion souls of my services over the past few days, I regret to inform you that you will have to find another mark to serve as your partner.

I will instead be assisting your competitor, Mrs Maryam Abacha, with her matters, as she has been far more communicative than you have been in your rather similar dealings with me.

I wish you much luck and a lengthy incarceration.

-Rabbi Dr Dovid Azazel Schmoigerman.

------
Either these clowns can't pay for another hour in the Internet cafe in South Africa to which I traced their pathetic scam, or they have gotten wise to the "419 baiter" tactics which I have used.

In any case, see everyone the week after Shavuos with more of the old style Creedmoor. I am taking a 10 day break and look forward to returning with the final reports from the Creedmoorer 5 Iyar conflagration, the trip to Iran, and the treatment which the Chassidim received for Schmoigerman Flu and Dutch Elm Disease.

All I can say for now is that 150 quintillion respirators were duly paid for by the Social Services Administration, and perhaps 10,000 actual respirators were indeed delivered to the Schmoigerman residence in Creedmoor for resale throughout the developing world, part by part.

See you soon...and to the grade D mugus* Arafat and Ahmed, may you indeed merit a lengthy incarceration and much hard labor.

*mugu is a mark or "freier" in 419 scammer lingo.

No response from either Arafat or Ahmed

BS"D

So far, there has been no response from either Arafat or her barrister, the most talented and ignoble Graham Ahmed.

If no such response is forthcoming within the next 8 hours, Schmoigerman will most ungracefully bow out of the deal....check back later tonight for the final chapter in the Schmoigerman-Arafat saga.........

Schmoigerman's Bank Warns Him!

BS"D

Remaining Anonymous to graham
show details 1:42 PM (4 minutes ago)

Reply

LS"D

Dear Dr Ahmed:

I contacted my bank in Turkey to find out whether they can find the Red Security Company and I received the attached alarming letter in response. They have informed me that you are trying to ensnare me in the infamous 419 Advance Fee Scam!

Certainly this cannot be so! Certainly they are not mistaken, as I know that you are a completely spurious and decent businessman.

I have other bank accounts if need be but I really need to find that Red Security Company to be convinced that my bank is not correct.

Sincerely,

Dovid.

Click here for the bank letter :). Needless to say, there is no Bank M. Gotkafa and Sons in Istanbul, no such street as Mathild Manukyan (the late queen of Istanbul's legal bordellos) Cadessi, even in Karakoy where her bordellos were located. Just in case you don't remember, Mehmet Ali Agca was the guy who shot Pope John Paul II :). And gey kock'n affn yam is not exactly the way even Agca would sign his name. The notary's name is also fabricated; it means procurer.

I will give this 24 hours to see if Ahmed responds. Regardless, my last letter to him will be where I reveal once and for all that I have been winding him up.

And then I will take a break from Creedmoor until after Shavuos so that I can get some work done!

Schmoigerman can't find the bank......

BS"D
-------
Remaining Anonymous to graham
show details 11:38 AM (0 minutes ago)

Reply

I am in Dubai, and have found out that there is no "Red Security Company" whatsoever here. Perhaps you made an error; if so please clarify. I will also check again in the Puerile Defalcations Register, which is the overall register of firms having a presence in Dubai.

-Dovid.
-----
The end is near. Today I will put an end to this one once and for all - but I think the guy knows he has been had.

Schmoigerman asks Ahmed for his advice...regarding investment in another 419!!

BS"D

Remaining Anonymous to graham
show details 10:41 PM (0 minutes ago)

Reply

I have arrived safe and sound in Dubai and await more information from you.

I was just presented with the following investment opportunity:

Due to the World Economy Recession, Ford Motor Company, Inc undergo a statistic fall in Sales and result in a drastic financial crisis this last season.



The Government has given us the opportunity to bounce back on our feet, but unfortunately we have not achieved the fund necessary.



Therefore, we offer you the opportunity to purchase a very good Auto at 35% discount of the price. We decided to pull the sales of 1.000 cars from United Kingdom at a very low price for us to aquire the capital needed to bounce back in business and to use this medium to increase the scale of our valued customers.



The payment shall be made in installments through the bank at 1 month after signing the contract.

If you are interested in this offer please fill out the application form, A representative will contact you about this application within five business day.







Sincerely,

Ford Motor Company

P.O. Box 6248

Dearborn, MI 48126



Do you think this would be a good way to invest Mrs Arafat's funds? I would very much like your exhumed opinion of this investment as I usually do not deal in any type of automobiles or any sort of physical goods unless duly purloined.


Looking forward to hearing from you im irtz'Allah ul-khinzeer ul-kabir.


Dovid.

Update: Schmoigerman is in Dubai

BS"D

Schmoigerman arrived safe and sound in Dubai and is settled in his room at the Bourj ul-Harb hotel. He has already found out that there is no such thing as the Red Security Company and he will inform Graham Ahmed of his findings tomorrow afternoon.

And Schmoigerman still is on the way to Dubai...

BS"D



Remaining Anonymous to graham
show details 11:28 PM (0 minutes ago)

Reply

LS"D

I thought I made it clear I am not reachable on Saturdays until nightfall. In any case, who will meet me in Dubai, where, and when? I am off to the airport in 4 short hours because lines are long and I must know this.

If I have enough trust to book an immediate flight to Dubai then I think you should know that I am a trustworthy partner!

Please respond post haste!


(well at least the Saturdays part is true LOL!)

Ahmed catches on...

BS"D

graham ahmed to me
show details 1:50 PM (9 hours ago)

Reply

Attention: Dovid,

How are you? I received your mail and I tried to call you on phone the phone number you give me dose not exciting so how can we do this transaction without trust I think we cannot do it with you because you are not a honest person.

I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST.

Thanks,
Barrister Graham Ahmed.






Date: Fri, 22 May 2009 16:34:24 +0300
Subject: Confirm receipt of my travel plans for Dubai on Sunday!
From: europa770@gmail.com
To: grahamahmedattorneys2@live.com

LS"D

Please confirm that someone will be there to meet me either at the airport or at my hotel as I will not be online again until a bit before my departure early Sunday morning and may not see any messages sent before I leave.

Thank you,

Dovid.

Schmoigerman accepts Ahmed's request to meet him in Dubai

BS"D

I wait to hearing from you soonest, Inbox X
graham ahmed to me
show details 12:27 PM (12 minutes ago)

Reply


Attention Mr.DOVID AZAZEL SCHMOIGERMAN,

How are you? I have just received your mail with the agreement signed now I wish to let you know that I will forward all your information to the Security Company where the fund was deposited for the charge of the ownership of the to your Name as the new beneficiary of the fund.

Also wish to inform you that this fund is deposited in (UAE ) Dubai in RED SECURITY COMPANY, also I will like to inform you that your present is needed in Dubai to sign some necessary document s as the beneficiary of the fund.

The charge of the ownership certificate will be send to you as soon as it don, and mean why I will also like you to visit Dubai so that you will meeting the Security company manager, for security reasons.

Now I want to know when you will be able to visit Dubai in this regards,

I wait to hearing from you soonest,

Thanks,
Barrister Graham Ahmed,
-----

emaining Anonymous to graham
show details 12:38 PM (2 minutes ago)

Reply

LS"D

I am leaving for Dubai on Sunday as per the following itinerary: Who will be meeting me there? I will be staying at the Bourj el-Harb Hotel (the famous tower).

Flight
Depart / Arrive
Time
Airport
Duration / Stops
Class / Aircraft
EK008
Sun
24 May 09
08:40 London Heathrow Airport (LHR) 6hr 50min
0 Stops First
Boeing 777-300
Sun
24 May 09
18:30 Dubai International Airport (DXB)
INBOUND Dubai, United Arab Emirates to London, United Kingdom
Flight
Depart / Arrive
Time
Airport
Duration / Stops
Class / Aircraft
EK005
Sun
31 May 09
15:45 Dubai International Airport (DXB) 7hr 30min
0 Stops First
Boeing 777-300
Sun
31 May 09
20:15 London Heathrow Airport (LHR)
Passengers
Passenger
Passport information
Contact information
Date of birth
Mr. Dovid Schmoigerman Not Applicable 044 181 8675309
EUROPA770@GMAIL.COM Not Applicable
Payment and Delivery Information
Ticketing option Local Emirates office
Billing address NA
Payment NA
Credit card number NA
Expiry date NA
Terms and Conditions
Online Booking Terms & Conditions
Conditions of Carriage
Special Offers by Email

1) There is no Bourj al-Harb hotel in Dubai. That would be the Bourj al-Arab. Bourj al-Harb is a play on Dar ul-Harb, meaning all lands that are not under Islam.

2) That reservation is not paid and just to see whether Ahmed is looking I sent him the whole reservation.

If he goes for this, much fun will occur on Sunday night when his man looks for Schmoigerman....

Ahmed sends an agreement; Schmoigerman signs it and has it notarized...

BS"D

SIGNED AND NOTARIZED AGREEMENT ATTACHED!
Remaining Anonymous to graham
show details 11:47 AM (6 minutes ago)

Reply

LS"D

Thank you very much for the agreement which you so graciously and deceptively to me has sent. To be certain that it meets legal guidelines which are stricter due to my refugee status I had my signature notarized at the famed Stalls of Defecation in Hertforshire by the most noxious deceased notary, Dr George Habasch shlit"a. It is attached in its full and fictive glory.

-Dovid!

Click here for the agreement in pdf format.


On Fri, May 22, 2009 at 10:44 AM, graham ahmed wrote:
Attention: Mr.DOVID AZAZEL SCHMOIGERMAN,



Regarding to your mail I received, open the attachment sign the agreement and send it back to me, also I will like to let you know that, as soon as you sign the agreement and send it back to me, we can proceed.

YOU CAN CALL ME 0044-703 191 5963

Waiting to hear from you with the agreement.
Thanks,
Barrister Graham Ahmed

Schmoigerman has rachmunes and sends his driver's licence...

BS"D

Remaining Anonymous to graham
show details 5:37 PM (0 minutes ago)

Reply

LS"D

I realize that the document which I had sent earlier is neither licit nor legible and may present your esteemed excellency with problems. Therefore, so as not to delay the most deceptive and defalcatorious transaction any further I attach my driver's licence.

I will confess to you that I am a very poor driver and have had my British licence revocated, thereby compelling me to obtain a licence in France, as I maintain a summer residence in Ste Phenix de Domestos which is 5 kms from the border between France and Montenegro. I do hope to invite you along with Mrs Suha Arafat and her daughter to spend a part of the summer with my wife Tzoah and I once this transaction is successfully and ludicrously completed.

Yours,

Dovid

Explanation of French:

1) There is no Republique de la France Libre (Republic of Free France).

2) The words below it mean "Permit to Drive on the Sidewalk". I'll have to confess that "permis a conduire" is a true error on my part; the correct translation of driver's licence is "permis de conduire". For that matter, it should be le trottoir; trottoir is masculine gender and not feminine. Oh, well.

3) Schmoigerman's eyes are yellow. He is also a very big guy at 191 cms (about 6 1/2 feet) tall and 149 kgs (328 pounds).

4) Schmoigerman wears glasses (lunettes); note picture of slender man without glasses; it is deceased Israeli singer Zohar Argov who hanged himself in jail and is therefore a Creedmoorer.

5) The date of birth (April 1, 1950) does not match that which Schmoigerman gave Dr Ahmed in his bank documents but Ahmed probably thinks that is the date of issue of the licence and there is nothing to indicate otherwise. Schmoigerman will explain that he miscalculated his civil birthday using the Zionist calendar as opposed to his Kedushas Klux Karta kalendar should the question arise.

6) Needless to say there is no border between France and Montenegro; Phenix is the brand of arak favored by French Jews and Domestos is a British household cleaner.

And needless to say, if this moron doesn't realize he has been had by now, he must have only one brain cell left.

If he responds again, Schmoigerman will ask to meet him in London or Paris............

Here is Schmoigerman's Passport....

BS"D
LS"D

I am of "Israeli" nationality; however due to my unrelenting opposition to the racist policies of that country I was stripped of my citizenship and due to fear of persecution I use the refugee document attached.

-Rabbi Schmoigerman



------------------------

This one came from a faked Burkina Faso passport used for a 419 scheme in Japan. A little kindergarten level Photoshopping and adding a blacked out picture of the late Israeli singer Zohar Argov made it as authentic as the letter from Suha Arafat that got all of this started...

Is there any limit to their stupidity? Graham Ahmed requests Schmoigerman's details and he responds...

BS"D

graham ahmed to me
show details 9:39 AM (1 hour ago)

Reply


Attention: Dr David Schmoigerman,



How are you and your family? open the attachment fill the Details bellow to enable us proceed to the bank for the transfer of the fund, in the agreement you will see your Parentage as a fund manager,



Thanks,

Barrister Graham Ahmed.

Reply

LS"D

Attached please find the details you requested. I will forward a copy of my passport later in the evening.

Our Ref: AXT21/05/09

Your Ref:KISHMIR.

Attention:
Here are the details we needed from you to enable us processes the change of ownership to your name as the beneficiary of the fund.

1) Your full name: Dovid Azazel Schmoigerman
2) Occupation: Rabbi and Incendiary Services Contractor
3) Address: Creedmoor House, Creedmoor, Queens, Hertfordshire (UK) KT1 FU2
4) Date of birth: June 30, 1950
5) Nationality: (this Schmoigerman omitted; he hasn't decided which documents to send and will decide this when he sends his document).
6) Your Telephone number: +44 01344 773 111
7) The bank name where the fund will be transfer into Bank Gotkafa, (Istanbul, Turkey)

8) Account holder's name: Congregation Sinas Chinam of Creedmoor
9) Account number 8675309666
10) Swift Code... OR Route Number.: SWIFT: GOTK AFA1
11) A copy of your international passport or driver lincence (will be sent under separate cover).

Finally, you are hereby to be informing that this Institution or Agency will not be hold responsible for any delay that will cost by you from the transfer of the fund. To your bank account in your country.

Kindly send me all the above-mentioned details to enable us commence the transfer of the money and also us processes the change of the ownership of the fund to your name as the beneficiary of the fund.

In the agreement you will see your pesentage as a fund manager.

Regards,
Barrister. Graham Ahmed.

-------------
To save everyone a little time:

1) Gotkafa is a Turkish word meaning one whose anatomy is rather unusual in that his head and buttocks are melded into a single unit (or, in medical terminology, a yukel ver hot zayn tuches in kop). Needless to say there is no Bank Gotkafa in Turkey.

2) The phone number Schmoigerman sent to Ahmed is that of Broadmoor Psychiatric Hospital, a respite home for the criminally insane in England.