BS"D
Are you an active older person who is looking for some passive income?
Do you have an older relative who is healthy but bored and wants to make a little money on the side?
Have you recently lost a relative who has named you executor of his will?
If so, we have the perfect solution:
Maayanei hoRefieh is an absentee long term care and rehabilitation program that allows patients in any health condition, including deceased, to register as inpatients without requiring more than a monthly visit to sign papers. We have no inpatient facilities at all and there are no medical tests required.
The papers provide us with a substantial income to cover medical costs which we never really incur for the many phantom illnesses and injuries that you or your loved one will be diagnosed with for private and public insurance purposes only.
Our average patient nets $3500 - $10,000 for his percentage of our monthly take, and there is no risk because we issue a separate Social Security number or two to each of our patients and that number is the one used to claim benefits. We accept up to five patients from one family or address and there is no charge for enrollment.
Testimonials:
"My shvigger finally peygered, and she never did anything but take from us all these years. Now, I can finally make a few toisent every month to support my son in koilel just by signing her name to a couple of sheets of paper every month." Chaikel Ferdkhapper.
"I just got out of Federal koilel for being too git an insurance adjuster, so I was looking far a new easy way tzi machen a leben. I signed myself up as disabled because the prison shrink says like I am having acute sociopathy and every month I just have to pose mit a wheelchair and a walker and have myne picture taken and I gets two tousent a month far me and five far each from myne eltern baabes in zaydes alyhem hashoolem! I even is tellink my parole officer I is certified disabled so I doesn't have to see him no more." Anonymous
To find out more, please come to our Open House this coming Sunday at Creedmoor Psychiatric Center, D-Ward, Independent Anti-Zionist Republic of Creedmoor. Tel 1-800-GEZEL-55. We will be serving Herzltashen in honor of the Tzioinish holiday of Peerim.
Showing posts with label medical fraud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medical fraud. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Thursday, April 15, 2010
"Anoichi Yang Ying Roifecho" - A Month of Medical Scams in Creedmoor
BS"D
The Tzionish month of Iyar is particularly accursed in Creedmoor as that is the month of the founding of the Tzioinish Entity.
But the Admou"r does agree that the month is connected to refieh (not to be confused with Rafiach where he has a couple of hashish fields) and it is in Iyar that he and his Chassidim are examined by the famous Chinese equine proctological acupuncturist Yang Ying.
And the diagnoses and treatments are a corrupt physician's dream, especially when it is very questionable as to whether the physician is not the same person as the most corrupt and indeed the only actual physical patient whom he treats.
Come back on Sunday to share in the medical discoveries of Dr Yang Ying, Certified Insurance Related Practitioner and Form Forger, wanted in three countries across two continents for gross malpractice and medical fraud, yet very hard to find since like most of the Creedmoor staff whose names appear on Medicaid, Medicare, disability, SSI and private insurance forms on Creedmoor, he seems to exist only on the welfare rolls.
Zait gezint!
The Tzionish month of Iyar is particularly accursed in Creedmoor as that is the month of the founding of the Tzioinish Entity.
But the Admou"r does agree that the month is connected to refieh (not to be confused with Rafiach where he has a couple of hashish fields) and it is in Iyar that he and his Chassidim are examined by the famous Chinese equine proctological acupuncturist Yang Ying.
And the diagnoses and treatments are a corrupt physician's dream, especially when it is very questionable as to whether the physician is not the same person as the most corrupt and indeed the only actual physical patient whom he treats.
Come back on Sunday to share in the medical discoveries of Dr Yang Ying, Certified Insurance Related Practitioner and Form Forger, wanted in three countries across two continents for gross malpractice and medical fraud, yet very hard to find since like most of the Creedmoor staff whose names appear on Medicaid, Medicare, disability, SSI and private insurance forms on Creedmoor, he seems to exist only on the welfare rolls.
Zait gezint!
Monday, June 08, 2009
87,679,098 Souls Resurrected After Epidemic in Creedmoor!
BS"D
It has indeed been confirmed that 87,679,098 souls were resurrected Friday morning in Creedmoor Psychiatric Center, D-ward, also known as "Perud Kehillos Anshei Domim veMirmo and Sinas Chinom d'Creedmoor".
However, what is remarkable about this apparent miracle performed by the renowned Admou"r meCreedmoor of dubious repute and low moral character is that each entity was registered for every imaginable Federal and State entitlement program, and that each identity was shown as owning huge swaths of residential and commercial property in latitudes and longitudes that show as being in the Atlantic Ocean.
And the mystery grows deeper, as each resurrected soul has a slightly different name than it had before its death certificate was issued for "Schmoigerman Influenza type BBA89C" or "Acute Dutch Elm Disease, Human Variant". Never mind that neither disease is known to most clinicians, but the discrepancies in the new birth certificates do not back up the claim of resurrection made by the Creedmoor spiritual leader, whose own registered name of Dovid Schmoigerman does not match any birth certificate.
A Federal investigator informed us that there is only one explanation for the latest phenomenon. Fraud.
And Schmoigerman, proclaimed clinically insane in the US and recognized as the leader of an independent country by the EU, is not prosecutable.
On the other hand, the Obama administration will now have an excuse to print even more money and increase the scope of the stimulus plan, for there are now 87,679,098 more people registered for welfare programs. In addition, while some of the victims of the epidemic were originally registered with ages as low as four months, all of the resurrected souls are of voting age now or will be in 2010 or 2012.
Therefore, we can expect no investigation whatsoever by the Obama administration. In fact we have confirmed that various emergency subsidies are being transferred to the accounts of these resurrected souls at present, with regular monthly subsidy payments to commence at the beginning of July.
It has indeed been confirmed that 87,679,098 souls were resurrected Friday morning in Creedmoor Psychiatric Center, D-ward, also known as "Perud Kehillos Anshei Domim veMirmo and Sinas Chinom d'Creedmoor".
However, what is remarkable about this apparent miracle performed by the renowned Admou"r meCreedmoor of dubious repute and low moral character is that each entity was registered for every imaginable Federal and State entitlement program, and that each identity was shown as owning huge swaths of residential and commercial property in latitudes and longitudes that show as being in the Atlantic Ocean.
And the mystery grows deeper, as each resurrected soul has a slightly different name than it had before its death certificate was issued for "Schmoigerman Influenza type BBA89C" or "Acute Dutch Elm Disease, Human Variant". Never mind that neither disease is known to most clinicians, but the discrepancies in the new birth certificates do not back up the claim of resurrection made by the Creedmoor spiritual leader, whose own registered name of Dovid Schmoigerman does not match any birth certificate.
A Federal investigator informed us that there is only one explanation for the latest phenomenon. Fraud.
And Schmoigerman, proclaimed clinically insane in the US and recognized as the leader of an independent country by the EU, is not prosecutable.
On the other hand, the Obama administration will now have an excuse to print even more money and increase the scope of the stimulus plan, for there are now 87,679,098 more people registered for welfare programs. In addition, while some of the victims of the epidemic were originally registered with ages as low as four months, all of the resurrected souls are of voting age now or will be in 2010 or 2012.
Therefore, we can expect no investigation whatsoever by the Obama administration. In fact we have confirmed that various emergency subsidies are being transferred to the accounts of these resurrected souls at present, with regular monthly subsidy payments to commence at the beginning of July.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
The Final Toll of the Schmoigerman Flu and Dutch Elm Disease Epidemic...
BS"D
87,679,098 souls expired during the recent combined epidemic of the mysterious Schmoigerman Flu along with Dutch Elm Disease in the Beis Pesha veResha and Machon leRishus schools run by Chassidus Creedmoor.....
and no sooner did each one give up the spark of life that he or she was resurrected by the Admou"r.
Is the Admou"r really a baal moifes of an order no one has ever seen before? Or is the secret to his ness revealed by the fact that each resurrected neshomo returned to the world with a slight difference in the spelling of his or her surname?
More on 15 Sivan (this coming Sunday) when we return...
87,679,098 souls expired during the recent combined epidemic of the mysterious Schmoigerman Flu along with Dutch Elm Disease in the Beis Pesha veResha and Machon leRishus schools run by Chassidus Creedmoor.....
and no sooner did each one give up the spark of life that he or she was resurrected by the Admou"r.
Is the Admou"r really a baal moifes of an order no one has ever seen before? Or is the secret to his ness revealed by the fact that each resurrected neshomo returned to the world with a slight difference in the spelling of his or her surname?
More on 15 Sivan (this coming Sunday) when we return...
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Schmoigerman Flu infection leads to Dutch Elm Disease...
BS"D
An E-mail from the CDC (Center for Defraudment Control a/k/a Center for Double Coupons) has arrived with the subject above. We are attempting to decipher the scientific jargon used therein and will report more as soon as possible.
What we do understand is that Mohammed Werczberger was the focal point of both the Schmoigerman Flu AND Dutch Elm Disease epidemics and that he just might face destruction and reincarnation under another name as far as benefits are concerned. Alternately, he may be registered as permanently disabled by the onslaught of both diseases so as to maximize his earnings potential, Creedmoor style.
What we do understand is that Mohammed Werczberger was the focal point of both the Schmoigerman Flu AND Dutch Elm Disease epidemics and that he just might face destruction and reincarnation under another name as far as benefits are concerned. Alternately, he may be registered as permanently disabled by the onslaught of both diseases so as to maximize his earnings potential, Creedmoor style.
Apparently the connection has to do with a large life insurance policy on the Werczberger family which is insured as having 19 siblings, of whom Mohammed is the middle child and of whom 11 are disabled R"L L"A nisht emmes gezigt.
It also has to do with an organism which traveled via a paper airplane on which both Mohammed Werczberger and the Admou"r were passengers and which infected all aboard ever since Werczberger flew on it from Lee Avenue to Division Street, where it was picked up and mailed to Creedmoor. There, the unsuspecting Admou"r flew it to Iran and the epidemic really began.
Please keep saying Satanic verses.
Dutch Elm Disease Update
BS"D
In a radical departure from the simple insurance fire and welfare scams that have been the hallmark of Creedmoor, the Admou'r's personal physician has informed us that he is acting as the agent for his esteemed patient in an attempt to obtain Federal funding for a medical research program that will devote billions of dollars to formulating a vaccine for Dutch Elm Disease in psychotic patients suffering from extreme kleptomania manifesting itself as feigned multiple personality disorder.
Thirty one trillion cases of Dutch Elm Disease have been reported among (phantom) members of the Creedmoorer kehilla and Dr Gimpel Arskowitz has already submitted samples of a new antifungal to the FDA. The Creedmoorer pharmaceutical breakthrough is a brackish, malodourous liquid which is derived from slivovitz, kiddush wine, and a common US household cleaner called "Top Job" and has been fast tracked for immediate FDA approval in order to contain the epidemic.
And Rabbi Schmoigerman has already reported a serious fire in his "SchmoigerPharm" factory in Isla Marica, Puerto Rico, where equipment has been installed to manufacture this antibiotic, called Geneyvamycin, in sufficient quantities to treat quintillions of patients, all eligible for Medicaid and SSI during the lengthy rehabilitation necessary after infection with Dutch Elm Disease, Creedmoorer variant.
More coming later....
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