BS"D
Breaking noise:
The United Nations Special Committee for the Condemnation and Hopeful Obliteration of the Zionist Entity, led by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and His Utmost Insanity Muammar el-Qadhafy have met in a special session to approve the "Schmoigerman Plan for the Creation and Support of Perpetual Microscopic Refugees from Zionism on the Pluto Formerly Known as a Planet.
Details coming tomorrow. All that is known at present is that this project represents the largest fraud committed to date by the Admou"r meCreedmoor and involves a budget of eleven trillion dollars for the resettlement of all microorganisms affected by the Chanike flammen on Pluto.
Showing posts with label parody of UN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parody of UN. Show all posts
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
We have not forgotten - but don't forget that Creedmoorer Chanike ends on the 25th!
BS"D
We have by no means forgotten to report on the continuing Chanike festivities, including and especially the grand fires which are causing a colossal, in fact an infinite, refugee problem on the Pluto formerly known as a planet.
At this time, we only know that the UNHCR is debating whether to add the quintillions of microorganisms which are being displaced by the arson fires on Pluto to its purview, given that they are every bit as legitimate as the "Palestinian" refugees whose refugee status is so conveniently perpetuated by that august, September and October organization. It is indeed likely that a grant of trillions of EURO to "The Schmoigerman Fund for Assistance to Anti-Zionist Microscopic Plutonian Refugees" will be approved and when it is we will be the first to report it.
However, please remember that Creedmoor does NOT celebrate Tzioini Chanike, but rather its own Festival of Insurance-Flammen, which commemorates the burning of a dozen heavily insured Brooklyn warehouses by the Schmoigerman Makabee tznius patrol just at the time the warehouses increased in value due to regentrification of Brooklyn. As the burning began on December 13, 1998 and the last insurance report was filled out on December 25, 1998 Creedmoor celebrates Chanike for 13 days, from 12 December to 25 December.
On the last day of Chanike, it is customary to burn an effigy of "Boguslav the Bogus", a Vulgarian immigrant janitor who nearly turned state's evidence by submitting to a police investigation when dead drunk on radiator coolant, floor polish and generic Robitussin and therefore rambling on and on about "a real Jewish rabbi in a tin foil hat" when asked who burned down the warehouse where he had worked. This custom usually brings about the fiery demise of several vacant apartment blocks from Antwerp to Zimbabwe and is always an exciting and joyous scene to behold unless you have the misfortune of having underwritten a Schmoigerman related insurance policy. The burning is celebrated by the consumption of much cannabis spiked fruitcake by the many phantom fruitcakes who actually celebrate this festival in Creedmoor, Alcatraz and Pluto.
So, keep on the lookout for more Chanike news as December 25 approaches and the EU printing presses churn out more EUROs for the struggle against world Zionism....
We have by no means forgotten to report on the continuing Chanike festivities, including and especially the grand fires which are causing a colossal, in fact an infinite, refugee problem on the Pluto formerly known as a planet.
At this time, we only know that the UNHCR is debating whether to add the quintillions of microorganisms which are being displaced by the arson fires on Pluto to its purview, given that they are every bit as legitimate as the "Palestinian" refugees whose refugee status is so conveniently perpetuated by that august, September and October organization. It is indeed likely that a grant of trillions of EURO to "The Schmoigerman Fund for Assistance to Anti-Zionist Microscopic Plutonian Refugees" will be approved and when it is we will be the first to report it.
However, please remember that Creedmoor does NOT celebrate Tzioini Chanike, but rather its own Festival of Insurance-Flammen, which commemorates the burning of a dozen heavily insured Brooklyn warehouses by the Schmoigerman Makabee tznius patrol just at the time the warehouses increased in value due to regentrification of Brooklyn. As the burning began on December 13, 1998 and the last insurance report was filled out on December 25, 1998 Creedmoor celebrates Chanike for 13 days, from 12 December to 25 December.
On the last day of Chanike, it is customary to burn an effigy of "Boguslav the Bogus", a Vulgarian immigrant janitor who nearly turned state's evidence by submitting to a police investigation when dead drunk on radiator coolant, floor polish and generic Robitussin and therefore rambling on and on about "a real Jewish rabbi in a tin foil hat" when asked who burned down the warehouse where he had worked. This custom usually brings about the fiery demise of several vacant apartment blocks from Antwerp to Zimbabwe and is always an exciting and joyous scene to behold unless you have the misfortune of having underwritten a Schmoigerman related insurance policy. The burning is celebrated by the consumption of much cannabis spiked fruitcake by the many phantom fruitcakes who actually celebrate this festival in Creedmoor, Alcatraz and Pluto.
So, keep on the lookout for more Chanike news as December 25 approaches and the EU printing presses churn out more EUROs for the struggle against world Zionism....
Monday, December 14, 2009
"Pluto is Burning" - Part 2 of the Festival of Insurance Flammen Series
BS"D
"Arson committed against property of insured by individual deemed insane and intoxicated due to inhalation of nitrogen, methane and carbon monoxide poisoned atmosphere caused by improper ignition of religious lights in non-conducive atmosphere..."
Chaim Arichim Gezelgescheft, known as Hymie the Hymish Fire Adjuster, could not believe his eyes. Even in Creedmoor terms, this was a clear confession of arson by the Admou"r himself.
"You are meanink you are wantink to tell all fin der insurance companies det first of all you are der owner fin Pluto, end det also you burned it end vent crazy fin der sryfe so you burnt it?"
"Hymie, di schvantz, di idiot! You want your tzvantzig protzent oder nisht? You are not gettink mine drift? I am nisht der owner fin Pluto! It iz owned by "Khal Sinos Chinom d' Pluto Vus Iz Geven A Mol A Planet!" The chief offitzer fin die kompanye iz my Rebbetzin of East Coast Izevel Tzoiah Yachne and you iz der treasurer! So, if you are adjustink det it iz conspiresy end unlezss you iz also wantink to live in Creedmoor end pretend your tzi dryt di ken zitzen in Federal Koilel far'n der gantze leben!
I am wantink you should bring dis to the UN and dat dey should issue to me gelt to clean up der envirenment fin Pluto! Der insurance den iz also covered by the UN. You know, like all der Pelestinian refugees vuz is gettink money fin der UN to blow up tzioinim? So we iz now ochet refugeez end we iz gettink gelt to burn der plenet end den clean it up, like der Araber mach der refugeez problem end dey iz gettink more money to make more refugees! End since der arson iz geven a religious lightink, it iz multiculturalizm end perfectly fine with der UN, you know like when some yikel in Sudan gives his tochter a bris!"
Chaim Arichim Gezelgescheft managed to call the Deputy to the Deputy Secretary of the Banned Ki Moon himself...(more coming tomorrow)
"Arson committed against property of insured by individual deemed insane and intoxicated due to inhalation of nitrogen, methane and carbon monoxide poisoned atmosphere caused by improper ignition of religious lights in non-conducive atmosphere..."
Chaim Arichim Gezelgescheft, known as Hymie the Hymish Fire Adjuster, could not believe his eyes. Even in Creedmoor terms, this was a clear confession of arson by the Admou"r himself.
"You are meanink you are wantink to tell all fin der insurance companies det first of all you are der owner fin Pluto, end det also you burned it end vent crazy fin der sryfe so you burnt it?"
"Hymie, di schvantz, di idiot! You want your tzvantzig protzent oder nisht? You are not gettink mine drift? I am nisht der owner fin Pluto! It iz owned by "Khal Sinos Chinom d' Pluto Vus Iz Geven A Mol A Planet!" The chief offitzer fin die kompanye iz my Rebbetzin of East Coast Izevel Tzoiah Yachne and you iz der treasurer! So, if you are adjustink det it iz conspiresy end unlezss you iz also wantink to live in Creedmoor end pretend your tzi dryt di ken zitzen in Federal Koilel far'n der gantze leben!
I am wantink you should bring dis to the UN and dat dey should issue to me gelt to clean up der envirenment fin Pluto! Der insurance den iz also covered by the UN. You know, like all der Pelestinian refugees vuz is gettink money fin der UN to blow up tzioinim? So we iz now ochet refugeez end we iz gettink gelt to burn der plenet end den clean it up, like der Araber mach der refugeez problem end dey iz gettink more money to make more refugees! End since der arson iz geven a religious lightink, it iz multiculturalizm end perfectly fine with der UN, you know like when some yikel in Sudan gives his tochter a bris!"
Chaim Arichim Gezelgescheft managed to call the Deputy to the Deputy Secretary of the Banned Ki Moon himself...(more coming tomorrow)
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