Double Header Tomorrow: Breaking News of New Medicare Scam

BS"D

As we await the release of the application form for Kemp Chutz laMachane, we have been informed that the Admou"r has been operating a chain of auto repair and collison (or is it collusion) shops that have been billing Medicare and Medicaid, as well as Family Health Plus, for auto repair jobs.

All we know at present is that the Admou"r somehow obtained insurance billing codes from suborned Medicare and Medicaid employees, and that he somehow adapted the codes to automotive parts and procedures. Two of the Federal employees involved in the Medicare scheme have such unusual names, even for Affirmative Action hires, that we are contacting the parties present at their wrongful and unfortunate birth to find out why they carry such originally embarrassing and ethnically diverse names.

More tomorrow as we uncover the mystery of the "Rechev Yisroel" chain of car repair shops and how they manage to turn cars into people for billing purposes.

Admou"r Opens New Pluto Based Kashrus Agency

BS"D

The letter K means kosher. The letters KKK mean triple kosher. So explains the creator of the latest in ultra-mehadrin kosher symbols, the one and only Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, who announced the opening of his new kashrus agency during his Motzoei Shabbos tish on the Pluto Formerly Known as a Planet.

The KKK symbol is bound to be controversial, as its entire modus operandi is very questionable even by rather lax Schmoigerman standards. Firms which do not wish to accept the certification are approached by anywhere from three to ten of the volunteers who comprise the famed Bulvanim community patrol.....

More coming soon!

Preview: Cholerye Cleans Creedmoor - The Scam Flick that Almost Suckered the Admou"r Himself!

BS"D

The abandoned grounds of Creedmoor Psychiatric Hospital that Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman calls home for reasons of incurable insanity and even more incorrigible avarice are rather dilapidated and in a total state of disarray.

After all, Schmoigerman spends most of his time in Iran, Alcatraz, North Korea, the Palestinian Disarray and any other rogue country that will welcome him, including Berkeley, California whose city rebels against their elders granted him honorary residence this past week.

So, when Clara Kosinzki, a Polish cleaning woman who declared her allegiance to Creedmoor by taking on the first name Cholerye and signing up for welfare in all fifty states despite her illegal alien status, offered to clean the entire grounds of the Schmoigerman compound free of charge, in exchange for being able to make a movie about her exploits, Reb Dovid was only too happy to accept.....

(Come back later in the week for the rest of the plot and the harebrained scheme behind this classic film...)

Admou"r Returns From Iran with Diagnosis of Dutch Elm Disease L"A R"L..

BS"D

"We ask that people daven for the well being of our great and exalted Leader, the Menivel haDor beKol HaDoros, Ben Yochid d'Sitra Achra, Roish veRishoin leKol Dovor shebeGezel veMirmo, Kvoid Kedeishas Addledeinu Moroneinu veRabideinu, who is suffering from a severe case of Dutch Elm Disease, contracted while in Iran. 

He is in critical condition in his private ward at Creedmoor and is being treated by several international specialists.

Please say prakim Pay and Tzaddik of the Koran 170 (Pay Tzaddik) times while standing on your head for the refuah sheleima of all the gufim and nefashois of Rabbeyne Doovid ben Cholerye..."

Dutch Elm Disease, the scourge of many a tree, has somehow infected the Admou"r meCreedmoor. A one of a kind medical occurence? A new strain of Dutch Elm Disease which is found in Iran and attacks people? Or the prelude to a colossal new medical scam?

More tomorrow...