BS"D
"The CRC - Creedmoor Roman Church - mourns the very timely and much delayed passing of Senator Edward Kennedy, alcoholic, cheater, hit and run driver and all around good man. We must mention in passing wind his contributions which allow us to receive the welfare and other programs upon which we depend. May he enjoy the eternal rest that awaits him in the deepest fires of infernity!"
This cryptic statement was issued by "Father David O'Schmoiger of the CRC - Creedmoor Roman Church", a hitherto unknown organization sharing a PO Box address with the various organizations and congregations run by the famous Admou"r meCreedmoor, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman.
The establishment of a church in the Independent Anti-Zionist Republic of Creedmoor can point to only one possibility - an attempt to further defraud the Federal Government of the United States of America by some type of attempt at an interfaith program that would be subsidized by welfare or similar Federal payments.
A review of the 150 quintillion soul and singular body membership of the original Creedmoor congregation does show a number of members of Irish origin, including one gentleman by the name of Abd ul-Wahid O'Shaugnessy, and his wife, Faige Chaye Malone O'Shaugnessy. Apparently, Rabbi Schmoigerman is about to separate those entities who bear surnames that are associated with the Roman Church into a new set of phantom organizations so as to obtain even more funding.
However, with the late Edward Kennedy having assumed long overdue room temperature, it is not known which Senator will be able to assist Schmoigerman in his latest quest to obtain extended subsidies and grants.
We can only surmise that Schmoigerman, most of whose followers voted for the present Presidential administration, is about to call in yet more favors from either the President or other politicians who swept into office rather than ended up sweeping floors thanks to Schmoigerman's sweeping endorsement and clean sweep of phantom votes on their behalf.
Showing posts with label voter fraud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label voter fraud. Show all posts
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Schmoigerman: 80 trillion votes for Ahmadinejad
BS"D
It has become very apparent that the recent resounding victory of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the Iranian national elections was the work of none other than the absentee Chief Rabbi of Iran, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman.
In exchange for the position of Minister of Entitlement Program Fraud in the next Ahmadinejad government, as well as the exclusive franchise to market Farschimelt Kokosh Cake, Schmoigerman enlisted no less than 80 trillion of his phantom personalities to vote for Ahmadinejad in the highly contested elections.
It has also been rumored that Schmoigerman and Ahmadinejad confidant Rabbi Aharon Cohen, of the Community of Complete Excommunication of Manchester, England and known as the Chyremer Rov, will be appointed Iranian Ambassador to the Fictitious Entity of Palestine, as well as Chief Nuclear Explosion Test Subject of the Most Exalted Nuclear Program of the "An Islamic Pistachio is Much Smaller than a Central American Banana Republic of Iran".
It has become very apparent that the recent resounding victory of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the Iranian national elections was the work of none other than the absentee Chief Rabbi of Iran, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman.
In exchange for the position of Minister of Entitlement Program Fraud in the next Ahmadinejad government, as well as the exclusive franchise to market Farschimelt Kokosh Cake, Schmoigerman enlisted no less than 80 trillion of his phantom personalities to vote for Ahmadinejad in the highly contested elections.
It has also been rumored that Schmoigerman and Ahmadinejad confidant Rabbi Aharon Cohen, of the Community of Complete Excommunication of Manchester, England and known as the Chyremer Rov, will be appointed Iranian Ambassador to the Fictitious Entity of Palestine, as well as Chief Nuclear Explosion Test Subject of the Most Exalted Nuclear Program of the "An Islamic Pistachio is Much Smaller than a Central American Banana Republic of Iran".
Thursday, June 04, 2009
NEWSFLASH: Obama to Thank Schmoigerman for Making the US A Muslim Country
BS"D
NEWSFLASH (Bubbamayses Press Agency for Der Shygetz):
EXCERPT OF POTUS SPEECH TO BE GIVEN IN DAR AL MAJNOUN HOSPITAL IN CAIRO:
When I told whoever was obtuse enough to believe me that the US is a large Muslim country, it was because thirty five billion Muslims, more than the entire world Muslim population, have been added to the welfare rolls of the US by none other than a Chassidic Jewish rabbi, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, a major advocate for the destruction of the Zionist state who was my campaign manager among those who, like him, suffer from multiple voter personality syndrome.
Not only was it Schmoigerman and his double voters who gained me the election, but his followers, men with names like Gimpel Mujahir al-Islam and women boasting such multiculturally ideal names as Fatima Friedman, show the true multicultural nature of our democratic society, where I, like your president Mubarak, can be guaranteed 90% of the prison and mental patient vote thanks to the great work of men like Rabbi David Schmoigerman of Creedmoor.....
NEWSFLASH (Bubbamayses Press Agency for Der Shygetz):
EXCERPT OF POTUS SPEECH TO BE GIVEN IN DAR AL MAJNOUN HOSPITAL IN CAIRO:
When I told whoever was obtuse enough to believe me that the US is a large Muslim country, it was because thirty five billion Muslims, more than the entire world Muslim population, have been added to the welfare rolls of the US by none other than a Chassidic Jewish rabbi, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, a major advocate for the destruction of the Zionist state who was my campaign manager among those who, like him, suffer from multiple voter personality syndrome.
Not only was it Schmoigerman and his double voters who gained me the election, but his followers, men with names like Gimpel Mujahir al-Islam and women boasting such multiculturally ideal names as Fatima Friedman, show the true multicultural nature of our democratic society, where I, like your president Mubarak, can be guaranteed 90% of the prison and mental patient vote thanks to the great work of men like Rabbi David Schmoigerman of Creedmoor.....
Sunday, June 15, 2008
OFFICIAL: Der Admou"r Endorses Obama
The Admou"r meCreedmoor has emerged from retirement to volunteer as the hymishe spokesman for the Obama campaign. As always, our favorite tin foil wrapped deluxe fruitcake has made a profound statement of endorsement for his preferred candidate:
"Azoy vi we iz dedikated to the eveporation from the Zionist entity aross fin der mep, end the viktory of inzerer chaver Reb Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over der gantzer velt, we are hereby to endorse the hyliger Barack Hussein Obama ez inzerer choice far next Prezedent fin der United States of Ameritchka. As we are wishink to redefine the malchis shel chessed as a medine vet gibt yeder ayner a velfare-check or 2 or tzvay trilyin, we are knowink det only Barack Hussein Obama iz guaranteeink mischazek zayn der burokratzia fin welfare-administration azoy vi mir ken fool der Affirmative-Eksion hires det work dere into gegibn inz multiple checkelach far'n inzerer multiple personelitiez."
The Admou"r is said to control a bloc of over eighty-five trillion potential votes. Analysts are uncertain as to whether the electoral system of a country with a population of only three hundred and five million would be able to handle such an onslaught of votes. It is assumed that since all but one or perhaps two of the Admou"r's votes belong to entities which are clearly absentee (after all, if one does not exist, one cannot be present!), he will attempt to stuff ballots in several states, including Montana, Baja California and Uttar Pradesh, with absentee votes in time for Election Day in Myanmar.
"Azoy vi we iz dedikated to the eveporation from the Zionist entity aross fin der mep, end the viktory of inzerer chaver Reb Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over der gantzer velt, we are hereby to endorse the hyliger Barack Hussein Obama ez inzerer choice far next Prezedent fin der United States of Ameritchka. As we are wishink to redefine the malchis shel chessed as a medine vet gibt yeder ayner a velfare-check or 2 or tzvay trilyin, we are knowink det only Barack Hussein Obama iz guaranteeink mischazek zayn der burokratzia fin welfare-administration azoy vi mir ken fool der Affirmative-Eksion hires det work dere into gegibn inz multiple checkelach far'n inzerer multiple personelitiez."
The Admou"r is said to control a bloc of over eighty-five trillion potential votes. Analysts are uncertain as to whether the electoral system of a country with a population of only three hundred and five million would be able to handle such an onslaught of votes. It is assumed that since all but one or perhaps two of the Admou"r's votes belong to entities which are clearly absentee (after all, if one does not exist, one cannot be present!), he will attempt to stuff ballots in several states, including Montana, Baja California and Uttar Pradesh, with absentee votes in time for Election Day in Myanmar.
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