We have received word that the Admou"r meCreedmoor has voluntarily sentenced himself to Alcatraz in what is probably the scam of the millenium. However, we will break this news to you only after the shiva for the Satmarer Rov, Harav Moshe ben Chaim Tzvi Teitelbaum, has ended.
Unfortunately, many believe that Creedmoor is a parody of Satmar. While it most certainly is not, the fact that people think it is so means that it is only right that I suspend publication until the shiva is over.
We will return next Monday night with full details of the reopening of Alcatraz for the Admou'r meCreedmoor.
Baruch Dayan Hoemes.