Friday, January 20, 2006

Look out for the Creedmoorer Book!

Due to the launch of Frumspace, I have less and less time to keep this blog going. However, do not fear:

1) There will be occasional audio Creedmoor skits starting Monday on Frumspace Radio, temporarily housed at and now featuring the best mix of Jewish music available on the Net.

2) There are constant Creedmoor posts on

3) Look out for a sister blog - The Creedmoorer Book - the definitive life and times of the Admou"r meCreedmoor, rosh verishoina lekol dovor shebegezel vemirmo, bishas hador veklimasoi! IYH (im yikne hashish) this will start within the next couple of days with a new chapter coming every 2 or 3 weeks.

4) I am not closing the blog by any means and hope to update it every couple of weeks.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

We apologize for some factual errors

Apparently, the infamous Moshe Aryeh Friedman managed to deceive our trained staff of researchers, and therefore we regret we printed our interview without further research.

Indeed, we have found the following errors:

1) Erev Rov Friedman's biological father is not in prison. He is alive and well in Kosovo, where he sells spent ammunition shells and defective warheads to any and all factions. Instead of a summons to the Hague, Mr Gabel Mutgabelaj has received an invitation to the Pasteur Institute in France, where they are presently researching nerve function in severely mentally challenged subjects.

2) Friedman was not kept alive with three nine volt batteries and a bell transformer. He was in fact kept alive with one non-alkaline AAA cell and a toy car motor, which was implanted inside his skull. He of course claims it is a radio receiver with which he receives instructions from his handlers in Gaza and Austria.

3) Friedman's adoptive father was actually the rosh yeshiva whom he called Feherszar and whose real name is Yankel Friedman. Feherszar is what he was called in the mikveh. Rabbi Friedman's first wife passed away riddled with guilt for insisting upon adopting Moshe Aryeh; his second wife is best described as a tzadekes who still brings a saucer of milk and a small dish of galereta (Moshe Arye is a shoiteh and is not obligated to separate basar vecholov) to her husband's undersized adoptive son.

4) Moshe Arye Friedman and his partner in crime Moshe Hirsch also blame the Armenian massacre on the proclamation of the Zionist entity. Never mind that the massacre took place 30 years before 1948.

Based upon the above, Erev Rov Friedman meets the high standard set by Der Shygetz for journalistic ethics. Therefore, we have asked Erev Rov Friedman to write an occasional news analysis piece here. He will soon oblige.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Nuch A Creedmoorer Auction!

You want eppes a Pulsa Denura on your enemy? - starting at just one cent!

Der Shygetz introduces Der Goy

Der Shygetz, the official newspaper of the Disjointed Jewish Communities of Creedmoor veShaar Marin Bishin, is proud to introduce a new glossy monthly - Der Goy.

Subscribe to Der Goy to find out just who in your community was beaten up by the Tznius Patrol and why. Learn about your favorite Jewish music performer's latest hot girlfriend! Follow the latest machloikes in every community from Argentina to Zaire!

And we also include our Supplement for Women - Der Cholerye. Only Der Cholerye offers tips on how to enjoy yourself the old fashioned way when you are a niddah - after all you don't really believe that your husband is at a late night shiur 2 weeks out of every month! And this month we present a special article for shviggers - How to Detect Poison in Shabbos Cholent!

So, accept no substitutes! Subscribe to Der Goy now by posting your credit card number in the Comments section so every Nigerian Cialis salesman can use it and remit a commission to me! Your chelek in oilam haba is guaranteed to disappear every time you so much as open an issue of Der Goy!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Creedmoor Returns Tomorrow

As fast days are considered particularly auspicious times in Creedmoor, we will resume activity tomorrow 10 Teves, as we have finally obtained the red schmaltzherrink of a prospectus from the Creedmoor Widows and Orphans Retirement Annuity Fund.