Monday, August 28, 2006

Intergalactic Welfare and Section 8 (part 1)

"Look from dis! Pluto iz nisht meyr a planet! Det meanz it no longer iz belongink to the United Statez fin Americhke end we ken go in dere and take it over!" This was the extremely well informed Admou'r meCreedmoor's response to an article in Da Shiksa (the magazine of Nshei Creedmoor) which his East Coast rebbetzin, Izevel Tzoiah Yachne Cholerye (the Cholerye was added when she nearly lost her three hundred Section 8 subsidies due to an unusually alert bureaucrat who noticed several thousand discrepancies in her applications) brought him.

"OK, now we must to get subsidiez far bildink houzink units far'n the impoverished extraterrestrialz who ken no longer to get velfare end sekshin 8 from Americhke! Den ve bilds dem and sends bills tzi der United Nations, EU, der Zionist Entity, Americhke end the Jewish Federation - maybe oichet det Bill Gates foundashin now dat Buffet gave tzi dem so much gelt!"

Anything having to do with extraterrestrials had to involve not the East Coast Rebbetzin, but the illustrious West Coast Rebbetzin, Rebbetzin Lilac Blossom Prunepit-McCall-Schmoigerman. Since she spent most of her time on long and short term trips that did not require a plane, let alone a rocketship, or even Tefilas Haderech, certainly she would know how to reach Pluto easily so that the Admou"r could find 8989489898421897984651564897464798789789561 extraterrestrials to settle on a 1 centimeter by 1 centimeter plot of land on his interplanetary atlas, just as his Rebbetzin managed to travel between galaxies using no vehicle other than a one centimeter by one centimeter piece of blotter paper..

(more coming tomorrow)