Sunday, January 15, 2006

We apologize for some factual errors

Apparently, the infamous Moshe Aryeh Friedman managed to deceive our trained staff of researchers, and therefore we regret we printed our interview without further research.

Indeed, we have found the following errors:

1) Erev Rov Friedman's biological father is not in prison. He is alive and well in Kosovo, where he sells spent ammunition shells and defective warheads to any and all factions. Instead of a summons to the Hague, Mr Gabel Mutgabelaj has received an invitation to the Pasteur Institute in France, where they are presently researching nerve function in severely mentally challenged subjects.

2) Friedman was not kept alive with three nine volt batteries and a bell transformer. He was in fact kept alive with one non-alkaline AAA cell and a toy car motor, which was implanted inside his skull. He of course claims it is a radio receiver with which he receives instructions from his handlers in Gaza and Austria.

3) Friedman's adoptive father was actually the rosh yeshiva whom he called Feherszar and whose real name is Yankel Friedman. Feherszar is what he was called in the mikveh. Rabbi Friedman's first wife passed away riddled with guilt for insisting upon adopting Moshe Aryeh; his second wife is best described as a tzadekes who still brings a saucer of milk and a small dish of galereta (Moshe Arye is a shoiteh and is not obligated to separate basar vecholov) to her husband's undersized adoptive son.

4) Moshe Arye Friedman and his partner in crime Moshe Hirsch also blame the Armenian massacre on the proclamation of the Zionist entity. Never mind that the massacre took place 30 years before 1948.

Based upon the above, Erev Rov Friedman meets the high standard set by Der Shygetz for journalistic ethics. Therefore, we have asked Erev Rov Friedman to write an occasional news analysis piece here. He will soon oblige.


Mindy said...

actually, moshe aryeh friedman's father recently remarried to a famous divorcee of williamsburg - the former proprieter of Oneg's bakery. (her ex got the bakery). He is my parents' upstairs neighbor.
Just to set the record straight!

Der Shygetz said...

My dear Mindy - welcome to the wild world of Creedmoor, where reality is not what it seems. Your Moshe Aryeh Friedman is not the real article. His identity was hijacked by the subject of my interview, who now entertains himself with such worthies as are only to be found in Vienna and Gaza.