Dear Federal Bureau of Prisons:
It has become tzi mir known det I iz goink to be released mit parole on the Tirteent fin April 2737. I am tinkink vus dis has got to be Pesach oder too close to Pesach to get to Monsey in time, and I am needink to be released 2 weeks tzurik so I ken spend myne first Seder mit myne great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grendchildren end dere children end grendchildren.
Please to have a bissel rachmones end to release from mir on April der first so long as it is not a Shabbos? For sure by 2737 you will have hed genig fin mir enyway, and I am tinking det 2 weeks iz really not makink fin det much a difference on a sentence which is mehr fin 700 yohr lank!
Zeyr a grossen dank,
Der Grend Rabbi Sholam Weiss
Colmaner Roov
(reference: http://tinyurl.com/37n7xv)
NB: Weiss is right!
You have selected:
Tuesday, April 13, 2737
The corresponding Jewish date is:
Nissan 20, 6497*
So that's Chol Hamoed Pesach but he won't have enough time to get home for shvi'i shel Pesach!
Please write to your Conman, I mean Congressman, and ask that Weiss be released on April 1 2737 instead as that is a Thursday and he can even bensch gomel for being released if he leaves the can early enough to make it to Shacharis in Miami Beach.
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