Thursday, December 28, 2006

Mahmoud and the Six Dwarves - a New Haimishe Video

Mahmoud and the Six Dwarves!
Screenplay: The Creedmoor Chronicler

The video tells the tale of an Iranian prince who wanted to do what his predecessor Achashverosh did and hold a beauty contest to choose hisprincess. Since the prince feared that one day he might have to flee Iran, he wanted girls from outside the country, who held foreign passports, to participate in the contest. However, Prince Mahmoud (played by Benny Elbaz) mistakenly contacted a haimish shadchan who was both very evil and very confused.

The elderly shadchan, Moshe Ber Beck, checked his blacklist and sent six of his most dilapidated, dissipated, dissheveled, defunct and deranged BOCHURIM to Iran instead of the six girls who were supposed to go to meet the Prince.

(The blacklist scene is wild! The shadchan's grandson, played by a young man who has made a name for himself on the frum net by imping and stalking members of the Miami Boys Choir past and present, is asked by his senile grandfather to read the blacklist out loud. Other than the 6 who are chosen, the names include Moishe Finkel of Shvache Meats fame, Jack Abramoff, Sholam Weiss, Mike Tyson and Al Sharpton, whose name is somehow changed to Ayliyuhee Sharfman. Pictures of all the blacklisters appear during the video, some with prison numbers, some demonstrating alongside Muslims, some wearing restraints, and one in solitary confinement).

The prince was so disgusted that he held a great banquet to which all of the Jew haters in the world were invited along with the six haimishe losers. To Prince Mahmoud's surprise, the losers enjoyed the conference immensely, and they took turns kissing the prince.

Of course, all Prince Mahmoud really wanted was a foreign passport, and he finds out that in the EU, of which Austria is a part, acertain type of marriage lo aleinu is actually recognized by the government. In the end, the prince finds a Conservative "rabbi" who agrees to serve as mesader kedushin for his sham marriage to the youngest of the menuvelach, the hapless Moshe Aryeh Friedman, who is deftly, or is it daftly, played by Lipa Schmeltzer!

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