Creedmoor Introduces: "Maayanei hoRefieh" (Medicare Springs) Rehabilitation and Long Term Care Center

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Are you an active older person who is looking for some passive income?

Do you have an older relative who is healthy but bored and wants to make a little money on the side?

Have you recently lost a relative who has named you executor of his will?

If so, we have the perfect solution:

Maayanei hoRefieh is an absentee long term care and rehabilitation program that allows patients in any health condition, including deceased, to register as inpatients without requiring more than a monthly visit to sign papers. We have no inpatient facilities at all and there are no medical tests required.

The papers provide us with a substantial income to cover medical costs which we never really incur for the many phantom illnesses and injuries that you or your loved one will be diagnosed with for private and public insurance purposes only.

Our average patient nets $3500 - $10,000 for his percentage of our monthly take, and there is no risk because we issue a separate Social Security number or two to each of our patients and that number is the one used to claim benefits. We accept up to five patients from one family or address and there is no charge for enrollment.

Testimonials:

"My shvigger finally peygered, and she never did anything but take from us all these years. Now, I can finally make a few toisent every month to support my son in koilel just by signing her name to a couple of sheets of paper every month." Chaikel Ferdkhapper.

"I just got out of Federal koilel for being too git an insurance adjuster, so I was looking far a new easy way tzi machen a leben. I signed myself up as disabled because the prison shrink says like I am having acute sociopathy and every month I just have to pose mit a wheelchair and a walker and have myne picture taken and I gets two tousent a month far me and five far each from myne eltern baabes in zaydes alyhem hashoolem! I even is tellink my parole officer I is certified disabled so I doesn't have to see him no more." Anonymous

To find out more, please come to our Open House this coming Sunday at Creedmoor Psychiatric Center, D-Ward, Independent Anti-Zionist Republic of Creedmoor. Tel 1-800-GEZEL-55. We will be serving Herzltashen in honor of the Tzioinish holiday of Peerim.