Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Urgent Chanike Update from Creedmoor


We have been informed that the revelers who somehow were diverted from a Chabad menorah lighting ceremony to the Creedmoor Chanike Extravaganza on Motzoei Shabbos are just returning now from what turned out to be a very entertaining luxury cruise.

All we are aware of at present is that the Admou"r will manage to receive a large insurance payment, and that his success was due to hiring Berish (Bozo) and Zerach (Zero) Wercberger, a pair of clowns, as well as "Shygetz Aross Bacsi," a Creedmoorer children's entertainer. Entertainment for the ladies' section on this mehadrin cruise was apparently provided by Behyme the Tzigane Queen, whose most benighted family hails from the superbly benighted ancestral village of the Admou"r, namely Szarkonosvary, Hungary.

We also understand that the Admou"r and his Creedmoor Cretin Crew ensnared an unwitting South African bochur and two French girls who inadvertently led others to believe that the cruise was a Chabad event. Finally, we have been informed that the Admou"r was able to hijack a luxury river boat by promising Green Cards to its crew of illegal aliens.

More later in the week, when we have full reports on the overnight luxury cruise and a full analysis of the damage done to the world's leading insurance firms.

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