The All New (Be)Hymishe Shidduch Questionnaire

Dis kvestiyenayre iz multiple choice. Now, I know dat by unz, multiple means meny, like, you know, multiple velfare eplikayshenz, but dis time it means you are to make ONE choice from der list far each question:

1) From what color is your tablecloth?

a) Ve iz uzink only der lace tablecloth from Babbe in Budapesht.

b) Vyse, like Sholam Vyce.

c) Ourz is alveyz written on, because Tatte uses it to make kelkulations far his phoney 39 protzent interest gemach that he usez to launder de kesh from all his gescheft'n. Mame says she'll only let de shiksa vasch the tichdekel when Tatty is finished vaschink der gelt, and dat's not gonna heppen!

2) What is doing dyne tatte?

a) Er iz a roov in a shil.

b) Er iz a meshilich

c) Er iz doink time in Otisville and maching many gescheft'n to keep us livink vell.

3) Who are by you the greatest rabbonim from dis lest generation?

a) Reb Yoilish, Reb Yoinason Steiff, Reb Moishe Feinstein

b) Reb Amram Bloy, Reb Yoilish, Rav Schach

c) Far what you talking from de lest generation? In dis generation we heve drei Moishe Rabbynee's - Moishe Hirsch, Moishe Ber Beck end Moishe Aryeye Friedman. (NB: Some say that this list includes only 2 1/2 people, but Friedman ain't DAT short!)

(more to come tomorrow)