Sunday, April 04, 2010

Admou"r: We count Sfira from 5 Iyar to 9 Av

BS"D

The Admou"r meCreedmoor crawled out from the ruins of the rows of abandoned buildings in Washington D.C. which he burned to celebrate the passage of the ObamaCare bill and made the following proclamation:

"It has been our minhag, always spelled backward, to count Sfiras haOimer during the period from Yom HaAtzamois on 5 Iyar until the Feast of the Beginning of Our Golus on 9 Av. During this period, it is meritorious to burn Zionist flags both in garbage cans belonging to the Zionist entity and in buildings which are abandoned except for insurance purposes. When reciting the sfira, one recites the number corresponding to the day, and the Creedmoor sfiros of skila, sryfo, hereg, henek, koreys as follows, skila shebeskilo, sryfo shebeskilo etc etc etc. In addition, if one is burning an insured building he should recite the names of all policyholders on the insurance records as well as all the insurance companies which underwrite the policy - for instance Schmendrick Wurstberger, Chaye Behyme Wurstburger, Koirach Wurstburger Trust, Generali, Allstate, AIG, Lloyd's, State Farm.

Only by mourning the rise of the Zionist entity through the purification of fire can we maintain this Golus that is now even kinder to us since we of Creedmoor will be eligible for even more benefits under ObamaCare."

1 comment:

Lemon said...

You know I always mean to leave a comment but I end up laughing so much I don't know what to say that would make any sense anyway.