Lecha Doidi Creedmoor Style - With Apologies to Yisroel Werdyger and Boruch Levine

BS"D

My apologies to Yisroel Werdyger and Boruch Levine for turning the original song (YW) and the great English version, based on a real story (BL) into a parody (and of course to Rav Shlomo Alkabetz ZYA), but this is no holds barred Creedmoor where everything goes.

Unsolicited Recommendation: if you don't have the Werdyger and Levine albums get them NOW while you can still listen: "Bayis Neemon beYisroel" and "Touched by a Niggun"


In a Federal courtroom on a morning so gray
The bored jury counted down to the day
That the judge would sentence Shmeel for arson again
And send him off to prison for a good five to ten

But in a corner sat the guilty man
Doing anything to avoid a spell in the can
Suddenly words so familiar to the judge
Shmeel began to mercilessly fudge

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

In a tune that all wish had remained unheard
Screeched and screamed Shmeel the future jailbird
As candles flickered in his dark holding cell
But this was Tuesday, not Friday, he had to be unwell

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

"What was he doing singing Lecha Doidi
In a coarse, raucous tune that irritated me
On a Tuesday morning in Manhattan, New York
For a Jewish judge who proudly ate pork?"

Lecha doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecha doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

The charge was arson, for at least the third time
On the Three Strikes Law he could do life for his crime
But Shmeel der Brenner was determined you see
To convince the judge that he was totally cray-zee

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

The judge heard the words, and suffered through the tune
He wondered if last night there had been a full moon
In any case Shmeel was nuts as he could see
Only a nut started Tuesday with Lecho Doidi

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

The judge said these words that gladdened Shmeel's heart:
"I happen to be Jewish, though I don't look the part
And when I went to camp years and years ago
We sang Lecha Doidi on Friday night you know!"

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

"The sentencing guidelines in your case are clear
You are criminally insane, away you go for a year
To Creedmoor, dear Creedmoor, to a padded cell
And after that you will surely be well!"

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

So off to Creedmoor went Shmeel with glee
Still in his bathrobe singing Lecho Doidi
They escorted him off to a clean padded cell
And told him they would let him out when he's well

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

And that first Shabbos, just before Friday night,
The brand new psychiatrist recoiled in fright
Shmeel the Firebug lit candles with glee
And the cell caught fire as he sang Lecho Doidi

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

"Doctor, dear Doctor, I meant no harm
But collecting on this one is a real charm
I put fire insurance on this rubber room too
Now let me go home and I'll share it with you!"

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

But this time the scheme came to a bad end
The shrink was a Muslim and by no means a friend
Shmeel was sent away to a koilel run by the Feds
And they stopped his pills when he was caught selling the meds!

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo

And Dr Mohammed Khan collected every cent
On the policy for the cell that was zer shtark farbrent
But when the police caught on to his game
To Karachi he was deported, his head bent in shame

Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo
Lecho doidi likras kalloh, oid kama binyonim nisryfo