Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Mysterious "Manganeser Rov" Makes Sudden Appearance at Sukkos Kappoores Shuk in Creedmoor


We have just received word that a great self proclaimed tzaddik, clearly chief among the eighty (pay) tzaddikim who are so exalted and extinguished that only they know of their own tzidkus, and who calls himself the "Manganeser Rov" (apparently because of his illicit dealings in Albanian manganese ore or perhaps because he touts manganese as an alternative either to lithium or tin foil hats for being able to maintain a diagnosis of criminal insanity) was seen dressed as a chicken with a lulav in his beak at yesterday's grand Creedmoorer Sukkos Kappoores Shuk. The chicken's feathers were painted in the colors of the Palestinian flag, and it was accompanied by the Rov's gabbai, Shelimiel Gezelberger, who held up a sign stating that the proceeds of any of the sheva minim bnei Noiach that were purchased from "Khal Adas Manganese" would sponsor the next "Kishke Flotilla" to Gaza which is scheduled to leave from the former Domino Sugar docks in Williamsburgh on vov d'Chol Hamoied Sukkos.

As the kappoores shuk, which is mamash a kappooreh, a kappooreh, a kappooreh, continues throughout all the 12 days of Sukkos in Creedmoor or until the last insured sukkah has been summarily set alight and visited by Hymie the Hymishe Insurance Adjuster, we hope to have more about the Manganeser Rov during (tzioinish) Chol Hamoed.

Rumors that this spectacle was simply an advertisement for a 419 or Ponzi scheme involving manganese could not be confirmed, but when scams and Creedmoor are mentioned in the same sentence, such rumors certainly cannot be denied.

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