Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Moshe Aryeh Friedman To Be Installed as Pope on Sunday March 17

BS"D

We have just obtained confirmation of an arson fire that resulted in black smoke passing over the Vatican. In addition, a 350 pound man dressed in a red shtreimel, green dress, and rubber boots was seen attempting to affix a "For Lease" sign to the front door of the Basilica of S. Peter and a sign marked "K'hal Adass Ganovim d'Vatican - Shygetz Aross" above a side door. His assistant was arrested for affixing a "St. Patrick's Day Pub Special" sign to the Papal Restroom, but he was mysteriously freed after the Vatican guards received a call explaining that this sign referred to the day of the ascent of the new Pope to the Porcelain Throne.

The Admou'r meCreedmoor has asked Mel Gibson and Pat Buchanan to join him on a special beis din of sonei Yisroel who will confirm the Admou"r's candidate for the papacy, namely Moshe Aryeh Friedman. The confirmation was postponed to Sunday as the Admou"r is in Venezuela to comfort those mourning for Hugo Chavez.

Friedman, who is in the midst of founding a new educational network for his children somewhere in the bowels of a public toilet in the Antwerp train station, cannot be reached for comment.



2 comments:

lemon lime moon said...

You got me laughing so hard with this I couldn't stop.

Der Shygetz said...

:) make sure to come back this coming Sunday for the St Patrick's Day Papacy Special!