Press Release: Creedmoor News Agency:
"Azoy vi ich bin der Rov fin der gresser asylum in shtodt New York, ich vil gibn asylum tzi der Amerikanisher hero Bucky Phillips! Bucky Phillips iz a soldat in der milchome aggenst der Zionishtisher government fin New York Stete in oichet fin Americhke.
This vay I ken gostrite far him a book af English in oichet af Hymish far'n der Artskroll crowd, end make a millyen dollers fin Barns end Noble un ten toizent food shtemps fin der Judaike stores in Brooklyn vus is sellink Inglish Judaike books det arent ritten half ez good from mine!"
Psychiatrist Budhu Gheekabob, who translated the press release from Hymish to Hindi, explained that occasionally der Admou"r really does take some medication so that he can continue to maintain his insane status. He confirmed that said medication is known as Everclear and is strong both in taste and in effect. He also confirmed that it is illegal in New York State, but that many of der Admou"r's multiple personalities reside in New Jersey, and they purchase it for him. He neither confirmed nor denied rumors that der Admou"r in turn resells it as Kois shel Shecht'em Oon A Brooche for 50 - 700 dollars a cup.
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