Thursday, November 12, 2009

Carlebach meets Creedmoor - Raheem Carlebach style

BS"D

"So my holy brothers and especially my holy sisters, the sweetest of the sweet, the highest of the high, let me tell you about the holiest of the holy, the one who gets me to the highest of the high, mamash a gevald, my holy brother Raheem.."

"Raheem, I get my smokes from a kewl homeboy name'Raheem
On the corner of Utica and East New York Raheem
Raheem, Raheem, Raheem."

"And I want you to know, I want you to know, last night I was wandering around Brooklyn, so lonely, so sad, such a sad night, because, you know, I have 42 different identities and I am trying to cash a Section 8 voucher and I am not having the right ID, and the man who cashes the checks, he says to me, your name is Martin Luther King? GET OUT, GET OUT of HERE I SAY, you are gonna make me land in jail, you no-good, you cheat, you liar, how far do you brothers think you can go with this shtick.."

"So I wander the streets again, because I am so sad, so desperate, so strung out I will do anything to get high, Lord, get me high, get me so high like the holy brothers who are getting high tonight, and then I see Raheem, and he says to me, so holy, so sweet, so high, I give you whatever you want today and you pay me tomorrow OK, after you cash yo' check from Uncle Sam!"

"So holy, so high, Raheem, he gives me three joints, three joints that I share with two holy brothers I am meeting on the street, and we get so holy, so high, and I tell them, you know where I got this holy, this high, this sweet of the sweet, this weed?"

"Raheem, there ain't no one else like Raheem,
He give out free samples too Raheem,
Don'matter if you goy or Jew, Raheem, Raheem, Raheem!"

"And there we are, me and these two holy brothers, so sweet, the sweetest of the sweet, now I want you to know, I want you to know, what is it again I want you to know, you know, it is mamash a gevald, sometimes this smoking, it is so high, so holy, so sweet, the holiest of holies, so you know, it makes me forget what I want you to know, so what is it I want you to know again,"

"Raheem, there ain't no bro as holy as Raheem!
He let you get high fo' nothin' Raheem!
Raheem, Raheem, Raheem!"

"Now, you know, one of these holy brothers, he is so sweet, so holy, so special, such a holy man, sometimes you see the holiest people you know, in places that are not so holy, and they are not looking so holy, they are so special, so sweet, and he tell me, come, come with me, we go together to the holy brother Raheem."

"Raheem, the sweet and the holy Raheem
With Raheem yo' never alone Raheem
Raheem, Raheem, Raheem.."

"And we go to the holy brother Raheem, and the holy brother he tell the other holy brother, you know, it is mamash a gevald, this brother, he is so holy, so special, so sweet, he tell me you give us the holiest of the holiest of weeds and he doesn't want you to pay..

Now Brother Raheem, you know, he gets so angry sometimes, it is so bad, so sad, so unholy to get angry and he say to the brother, you think I am crazy, I give you holy smoke fo' nuthin? This brother he is a holy Chossid, a holy brother, from the Creedmoorer rebbe, the holy of holies, the sweetest of the sweet, the Creeeeeedmoorer, the tzaddik of all eight sections! But you, who yo' be? How I know you pay me back? So he throw out the holy brother, and, you know, it is mamash a gevald, the holy brother, he is so poor, so sad, so oppressed, that he steals my wallet and runs away, and there he is going away with my 42 section 8 vouchers, so holy, so special is Section 8, like welfare it is so holy, so special, so pure...."

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