Sunday, November 01, 2009

Newsflash: "Creedmoorer Goyte" arrested with false green card


The loyal housekeeper and cleaning lady of the Creedmoorer rabbinical Schmoigerman family, Ana Lidia Gonzalez de Tonterias, has been arrested by ICE agents outside the Creedmoor grounds as she was found to be holding a false green card.

The green card, issued by "Schmoigerman Immigration Agents, Ltd Official Green Card Printers" in the name of "Inzere Goyte" was quickly determined to be false by the arresting agents.

When questioned as to where she obtained the card, she replied: "I no can read nothing. The Rabbi he good man he say with this I stay in country legal because I do big mitzvah cleaning his sinagogo for nine cents hour.."

An interplanetary arrest warrant has been issued for Rabbi David Schmoigerman who has been spending the last few weeks in his satellite synagogue, located on Pluto.

As Schmoigerman is expected to plead and prove insanity, little can be done except to recommit him to Creedmoor should he ever return to Earth.

Mrs Gonzalez de Tonterias is said to be a distant relative of Rabbi Schmoigerman and a descendant of conversos who were forced to pose as cretins so that they could escape to the New World. While in detention at the Manhattan Detention Center and Taco Bell, she produced a 1099 form issued by "The Creedmoor Tzedoko Fund" showing earnings of thirty dollars for the entire year of 2008.

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