The Admou"r's Tzioinish Pysach Directives

BS"D

11 Rabi` Al-Akhar 1431
Creedmoor Beis Medrash, Pluto, Furthest Reaches of Golus May It Be Prolonged Until the End of Days!

"It pains me in an unfathomable way to hear that hyliger Yiddelach who walk in the hyliger flickering one watt light bulb of chassidis Creedmoor, even to the point that they recite "Shiksa Arann" repeatedly when walking the hyliger beaches of that most hyliger part of the Zionist Entity, namely Tel Baruch, are still observing the tzioinish yom tov of Pysach, which is against all that generations of our hyliger manhigim, going back to Koirach, Doson veAbiram and before that to the Chassidim of Sdoim veAmoira, may they be speedily rebuilt and just as speedily reburned for insurance, stood for and never sat down for.

While it is permissible for Yidden who are "naki mekol chashash timas haTzioinis" to sell matzois and other provisions to Tzioinim at inflated prices and to accept food stamps for same, it is NOT permitted to become a part of their idolatrous sedorim and other celebrations! We must remember that our goal is to return to the state of avdus in Mitzrayim, and never, ever, to live in the tzioinish entity!

Therefore, this year I am requesting that NO gitte sryfos take place on Monday 14 Rabi` Al-Akhar 1431, which corresponds to the time when tzioinim koifrim will be burning their chometz, which of course we eat every day of their holiday which to us has the same disgusting and kefiradige insignificance as Yom haAtzamois (Youm an-Nakba).

Our gabboim and insurance adjusters will NOT be available on 14 Rabi` Al-Akhar under ANY circumstances and in fact our messira squad, those holiest of the holy who are moiser every nefesh and moiser every neshomo who does not share in the take with them, will be reporting every suspicious fire in all five boros and Rockland County so that the appropriate authorities arrest all who are taking part in the barbaric and wasteful ceremonies of the tzioinish chometz sryfos.

And we remind all that the yahrtzeit festival of April 1 will be postponed this year until April 10 so that it does not coincide chas vesholom with the tzionish pysach."