Friday, June 18, 2010

Creedmoorer "Mishkon Areilim" Yeshiva Sued for Discrimination


The Creedmoorer "Mishkon Areilim" yeshiva is the flagship institution of the largely phantom Creedmoorer educational network, which exists largely to prove that its 48 quintillion or so students are all special needs children who are in need of special services and equipment from all 50 states, the EU and the UNHCR.

However, the "Mishkon Areilim" yeshiva is special in that it takes only students whose parents never, ever worked in their lives and have committed at least seven felonies in at least three jurisdictions.

A young man called Seamus Abdulkarim Oved, whose surname is suspicious as it suggests "work" in the Zionist tongue, attempted to enroll in "Mishkon Areilim" but was unable to provide documentation of his parents' police records.

Of course, in Creedmoor, this is but a formality as all records are generated by the Hakolbishvili brothers "Print-A-Buck" printing press, also known as the Royal Mint of the Independent Republic of Creedmoor, depending on what opportunity for gross fraud presents itself.

But this was not enough for Mohammed Shmeel Abu-banat Ginzburg, who is only a six-time convicted felon, and a father of girls who in any case are not accepted into "Mishkon Areilim". He insisted on bringing the Admou"r meCreedmoor himself, who is the registered dean and warden of the institution of higher deception, to Federal court, which in this case means the Beis Din of the Federal Koilel Yingerleit and Alumni of Otisville. Said Beis Din is also located somewhere in the phantasmic nether reaches of the Creedmoor plumbing system.

The Federal court ruled that Ginzburg himself would be able to attend Mishkon Areilim under the Federal Koilel Mezuyonim program if he managed to commit another felony. As for Oved, a quick check of the records and a bit of sleight of hand were combined to find him a set of felonious adoptive parents. All rejoiced when eighteen new SSI applications were sent to Washington DC with a note: "Remember, from tiny ACORNS many votes do grow".

And at the end of the beis din proceedings, all parties gathered in an empty shell of a slum building in the Bronx to burn the Zionist flag in celebration of yet another sheaf of insurance cheques that would soon accompany the new SSI benefits.

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