Sunday, June 06, 2010

Admou"r demands emergency welfare for an infinite number of microbes!


As reported earlier, the Obama Administration has expressed interest in the proposal by Schmoigerman Environmentally Noxious Associates, Inc, a mysterious firm operated by the even more mysterious Creedmoorer Chassidic Community, to unleash several tons of a rancid Hungarian Jewish delicacy which the firm claims contains oil eating bacteria. The firm has guaranteed that this substance will indeed neutralize the BP oil spill and clean the waters that have been affected by it.

The food, known as galle, has apparently been sitting in the Schmoigerman chassidic compound on the grounds of Creedmoor Psychiatric Center for over one year, as it was made for a flag burning ceremony which the controversial community had held in several vacant warehouses on the 61st anniversary of the founding of the State of Israel.

Since the galle has been stored without refrigeration, an infinite number of microbes have colonized it; these range from fungi to bacteria to other organisms which, like many in the Obama administration, have but one barely functioning cell.

However, the price of the proposal is set at one emergency welfare grant, equal to one month's rent in a warehoused apartment being used as an emergency shelter, for EACH microbe.

An Obama administration spokesperson has made it clear that the government is indeed amenable to the proposal, so long as each microbe then promises to vote Democratic in the November 2010 elections and then vote for Obama in 2012.


Anonymous said...

have you been able to confirm whether hellen thomas is one of the admou''r's multiple personalities? or one of his rebetzins? she definitely belongs in creedmoor.

Der Shygetz said...


You must have an inside source! See today's post!