Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Important New Cherem from der Admou"r

BS"D

In a rare moment of lucidity, the Admou"r has realized that cherem is oisios and therefore gematriah ramach, or 248, which is the number of positive mitzvois (mitzvois aseh) in the tzioinish Torah.

Therefore, the Admou"r has proclaimed a stringent and binding cherem upon anyone who performs any single one of the 248 mitzvois aseh in the tzioinish Torah.

He will soon be issuing his very own "Alternative Torah," which he will reveal to whoever has the zechus to be with him where he reveals himself every morning, namely the Grand Mikveh of Pluto.

We will also soon be issuing more of the ongoing story of the Chanike sryfois on Pluto and the ongoing efforts of the Admou'r to obtain UN funding to resettle all the microorganisms of Pluto which have now become refugees due to the severe fires and resulting adverse weather conditions on the Pluto formerly known as a planet.

No comments: