Monday, December 14, 2009

"Pluto is Burning" - Part 2 of the Festival of Insurance Flammen Series


"Arson committed against property of insured by individual deemed insane and intoxicated due to inhalation of nitrogen, methane and carbon monoxide poisoned atmosphere caused by improper ignition of religious lights in non-conducive atmosphere..."

Chaim Arichim Gezelgescheft, known as Hymie the Hymish Fire Adjuster, could not believe his eyes. Even in Creedmoor terms, this was a clear confession of arson by the Admou"r himself.

"You are meanink you are wantink to tell all fin der insurance companies det first of all you are der owner fin Pluto, end det also you burned it end vent crazy fin der sryfe so you burnt it?"

"Hymie, di schvantz, di idiot! You want your tzvantzig protzent oder nisht? You are not gettink mine drift? I am nisht der owner fin Pluto! It iz owned by "Khal Sinos Chinom d' Pluto Vus Iz Geven A Mol A Planet!" The chief offitzer fin die kompanye iz my Rebbetzin of East Coast Izevel Tzoiah Yachne and you iz der treasurer! So, if you are adjustink det it iz conspiresy end unlezss you iz also wantink to live in Creedmoor end pretend your tzi dryt di ken zitzen in Federal Koilel far'n der gantze leben!

I am wantink you should bring dis to the UN and dat dey should issue to me gelt to clean up der envirenment fin Pluto! Der insurance den iz also covered by the UN. You know, like all der Pelestinian refugees vuz is gettink money fin der UN to blow up tzioinim? So we iz now ochet refugeez end we iz gettink gelt to burn der plenet end den clean it up, like der Araber mach der refugeez problem end dey iz gettink more money to make more refugees! End since der arson iz geven a religious lightink, it iz multiculturalizm end perfectly fine with der UN, you know like when some yikel in Sudan gives his tochter a bris!"

Chaim Arichim Gezelgescheft managed to call the Deputy to the Deputy Secretary of the Banned Ki Moon himself...(more coming tomorrow)

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