BS"D
Pursuant to reports of a dybbuk inhabiting the body and soul of a Brazilian yungermann who has flown to the Zionist medine in order to undergo hitherto unsuccessful exorcism treatments, it is rumored that the Admou"r meCreedmoor has offered his services to assist in removing said dybbuk.
At present the Admou"r is organizing a minyan of his own multiple personalities to perform a pulsa denura debitucha, which is a ceremony that places a curse on a person or dybbuk and symbolically burns it along with its dwelling place. Since no one can be sure where a dybbuk actually dwells, the Admou"r ensures the success of the ceremony by making sure the pulsa denura is carried out in a heavily insured warehouse belonging to a struggling businessman who has deeded the building over to the Admou"r's gemach in exchange for perhaps a hundred food stamps and a pound of galle. Then, the insurance proceeds are claimed rapidly and just as soon wired to the Admou"r's tzedoko funds in Luxembourg lezecher hadybbuk.
Should this fail, the Admou"r will request that the affected party fly to him on Pluto, where he will promise the dybbuk a Section 8 apartment in the heart of Schnooro Park if he agrees to leave his host and jump into the Admou"r's Schnorro Park-Willyburg-Monskey-Pluto shuttle.
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