Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Order your Zionist Flag for Kappores

The Va'ad ha'Avyros ho'Chamoirois d'Creedmoor reminds all of achynee bny Yishmoyel that it is meritorious to set an Israeli flag alight and circle it three times around your (tin foil covered) head in place of using a poor, innocent chicken for kappores. This conforms to the recent ban by the Beis Din d'Kehilla Kedoisha PETA on the use of chickens for kappores.

A mass Creedmoorer kappores will be held in front of the Embassy of the Zionist Entity on 39 Elul 5766, in preparation for the Feast of Atonement.

Kerosene treated Zionist flags (sewn in Bangladesh and treated with Saudi kerosene) are available from the Creedmoor Tashmishei Kedusha ve'Tashmishei Mito shop in Kiryas Naye Creedmoor. All profits from the sale will go to the "Admou"r's Indiscretionary Fund for the Destruction of the Zionist Entity." Prices are as follows:

Large Zionist Flag: 1000 food stamps or 800 Euro

Medium Zionist Flag: 650 food stamps or 500 Euro

Child size Zionist Flag: 300 food stamps or 400 Euro

Creedmoor moisdos do not accept US currency due to continued US support for the Zionist entity may it be destroyed speedily and in our days.

In the zechus of our hyliger kappores, may the Zionist emptity be slaughtered as one schechts a kappore.


brianna said...

If a real live Zionist I vant to burn, how much food stamps vill it cost? Mine Tatte vants to order 20.

--Shprintzy from Porkois Oyl

Der Shygetz said...

Shprintzele - the Admou"r will let you burn 20 free of charge if you also burn the shmoiger who posted his trash right under your comment. He burns fast - dried old manure is an excellent fuel that is often used by the Creedmoor fire adjusters to adjust a few buildings!