Wednesday, October 12, 2005

EU Approves 200 million EURO Aid Request!

Brussels (BSP): Exclusive to the Vochedige Velt-Barimte Pashkvilke:

The European Parliament has approved a request by Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, Admou"r for Life of the Independent Republic of Creedmoor, for 200 million EUROS earmarked for the construction of kerosene refineries, bleach factories and tinfoil plants on the territory of the Republic.

Never mind that the entire territory of the Independent Republic of Creedmoor is less than 500 meters, and that the EU has yet to recognize the fledgling kapporo that got away. Rabbi Schmoigerman has succeeded in obtaining aid to build plants that would occupy space about three times greater than the entire area of his fiefdom - and the aid was given regardless of the fact that Creedmoor has no body of water which would be necessary for the proper operation of these enterprises.

When asked for the reasoning behind their unusual approval of this request, an EU spokesman replied: "The Independent Republic of Creedmoor meets all requirements for European Union financial aid as per our preceding experience in reference to providing aid to the Palestinian Authority - namely, Creedmoor is a fully and completely corrupt organization with no purpose other than the eradication of Israel."

Rabbi Schmoigerman has called for a special feast on Yom Kippur (7th day of Ramadan d'Creedmoor) to celebrate the receipt of this aid. A report regarding this will be posted after the conclusion of the celebrations.

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