Monday, October 17, 2005

An Urgent Appeal from the Admou"r meCreedmoor

While we do not endorse the heretical beliefs of the Zionist sects of Williamsburgh, Monroe, Monsey, Stamford Hill, Boro Park and Yerushalayim the desecrated city of Zionism, we do support the holy efforts of the United Council of Tznius Patrols of the Various and Sundry Communities of Kanoim throughout the world.

The Tznius Patrol - Mishmeres Hatznius - is a truly holy and pure organization which prevents heartrending family tragedies. For instance, our heiliger Patrols stop wayward family members from causing the inability of siblings to find a proper shidduch whose family engages in the requisite holy pursuits such as gross insurance fraud, tax evasion, credit card fraud, and obtaining of welfare and food stamps under false pretenses so as to be able to support the new family for long periods of study in (private, State or Federal) koillel.

In addition, the Tznius Patrol allows idle young men to find an outlet for their talents by undertaking such holy tasks as inflicting physical damage upon young men who dare to desecrate the innocent youth of our communities by doing that which only our own boys have the right to do with our own heilige and eidel girls who are often found hanging out in pizza parlors and pool halls at night instead of sticking to more appropriate venues such as basements of simcha halls and the holiest of holy places, men's mikvaos.

So, when you receive a phone call from the "United Tznius Appeal," please respond generously - or it may be YOUR daughter who ends up with her name inscribed on every wall of every men's mikve in your community!

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