Special Instructions for the Zionist Holiday of Sukkos

While we who follow in the ever dimming and ever more minuscule light of Chassidus Creedmoor condemn and decry the wicked acts of our wayward brethren who celebrate the Zionist holiday of Sukkos and in so doing neglect the great Ramadan, the holiest of holy days of Acheinu B'nei Yishmoel who stand at the forefront of eradicating the tumoh of Zionism from the face of the world, we still do permit the construction of the booths of tumoh and znus known as sukkos BUT ONLY according to Creedmoorer minhag as handed down by our Naronnim and Moronim throughout the ages, and this is so as to elevate the Sukkoh from a dovor le'tumos hatzioinis to the highest level of Kedushoh - that of a cheftza d'gazla ve'mirmo!

We call upon our Chassidim who live in the United States, United Kingdom and Zionist Entity to build these booths out of wooden, or cardboard panels which are then to be sprayed with kerosene that is noki mekol chashash tumos hatzioinus - namely that which is imported from Saudi Arabia and certified as such by the Creedmoor Rabbinical Council. Once the booth is constructed, at least one insurance policy should be placed on same, and said insurance should be obtained for a period of ten days.

At the conclusion of the Zionist festival, a "Simchos Beis Hasreyfo," a re-enactment of the celebration which was held when a miscreant was sentenced to the method of capital punishment known as sreyfo, should be held. This is conducted by setting the booth alight. Once this is done, the insurance company should be contacted via our community insurance liaison, Chayim the Hymishe Fire Adjuster. Proceeds of the policy will then be shared 10 - 90, with the Creedmoorer moisdois receving the larger share (after the 125% commission paid to Chayim the Hymishe Fire Adjuster).

It should be noted that this minhag applies ONLY to Chassidim residing outside the Independent Republic of Creedmoor ve'Sha'ar Marin Bishin, as no insurer has elected to provide coverage within the confines of our heiliger medina.

And here is a little song regarding inzerer hyliger minhag:

A sukkele a groyse
Filt mit "Shygetz Aroys"'ers
Hob ich mit chandeliers gemacht
Bedekt dem dach
Mit a flammable schach
Ich hob gebrent mayn sukkele bai nacht.....

May those who participate in this hyliger minhag also have the zchis to learn many years in a very secure Federal Koilel!