Sunday, March 15, 2009

EMERGENCY KASHRUS ALERT - Kapoyer's Chelmisher Bagel Holez


It has come to our attention that there has been a grave misuse of our © kashrus symbol by "Chelmisher Bakerei" of 1339 13th Avenue in Schnodderingham Park, Brooklyn, Zionist Occupied USA.

The product appears with a woefully unauthorized and counterfeit hechsher from "K'hal Anshei Gezel ve'Mirma d'Creedmoor". It is well known that our hyliger community is called "K'hal Anshei Domim ve'Mirmo d'Creedmoor" on all of the hyliger and exalted tax exemption and Federal funds documents which we have filed with the Zionist government and that there is no such entity as the one mentioned on said hechsher. In addition, the name of the kashrus certifier is given as "Dayan Groinem Dreckgeschefter". Dayan Dreckgeschefter zechusoi yogayn lo alynee is no longer alive, having passed away when his welfare and disability status was audited over three years ago. Finally, we do not certify bagel holes as that is a rather puny and unoriginal scam even if the manufacturer or distributor is attempting to have this product sold for food stamps.

Therefore, with the threat of "skila, sreyfa hereg vechenek beoilam haze vetzoiah roitachas le'oilam haba" we are asking the Chelmisher Bakerei to cease and desist from selling any products with any certification signs mentioning the word Creedmoor.

-In the exalted name and holiest of ghosts of the Grand Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman of the Congregation of the Men of Blood and Deceit of Creedmoor and the Disjointed Jewish Communities of Creedmoor:

Dayan Shelumiel - Koirach Schmatteschlepper, Av Beis Din and Av Beis HaSkila d'Kehillas Koidesh Creedmoor, may Hashem spare it His well deserved wrath

No comments: