With the Kabbalah craze in full swing, how can the Admou"r meCreedmoor not get in on the action? The answer is - of course he is in on the action - with his famous program "The Kabbalah of Investment Schemes".
And it begins with his very novel definition of the 10 Sfiros, or, as he translates them, noxious emissions:
The Head Sfira:
Makas Bechoiros. Makas Bechoiros is akin to the head, as it controls all of the other 9 sfiros. It is particularly praiseworthy to let the sfira of Makas Bechoirois lead you into finding the proper way to handle your money - the reference is to either hitting first or getting hit first which in turn means being among the original investors in a Ponzi scheme.
Skila. Skila represents violent and destructive emotions. These should be channeled not into investment decisions but into the fight against tzioinis, chessed and ehrlichkeit that is the essence of a Creedmoorer Chossid.
Sreyfa. Sreyfa represents burning, and the significance of burning to one who follows in the distortions and darkness of Chassidus Creedmoor should be well known already. One who looks to the sfira of Sreyfa to make investment decisions tends to put down deposits and insurance premiums on vacant buildings.
Onan. Onan represents non productive wasting of resources. The sfira of Onan is extremely negative and should never be taken into account when dealing with resources belonging to anyone other than the government or the Zionist entity. However, welfare records going back to the time of the avois show that the Schmoigerman rebbeim are registered as descendants of Onan so that even this sfira can be elevated by wasting resources that are not your own anyway.
Izevel. Izevel represents the folly of allowing one's wife to lead him. This means that whatever profits which result from an illegal transaction will be spent on jewelry, plastic surgery, shoes and other useless items whereas the investor who follows the sfira of Izevel will be soundly blamed when his illegal scams go wrong even though plenty of money is hidden in his Izevel's name.
Pritzus. Without pritzus, the rock on which Chassidus Creedmoor stands, namely the Mishmeres haTznius could not exist. As far as investments are concerned, the Admour speaks of "poiretz geder", meaning that all investment scams must break through the boundaries of even plausible scams. The Admou"r no longer sets up a scam unless it will net him over three quintillion counterfeit Euros in profit, and these Euro must be in odd numbered two digit denominations so that no one mistakes them for Tzioini or otherwise legal Euros.