Schmoigerman Confirmed as Nobel Economics Prize Winner

BS"D

No one is sure of his actual name, for his surname comes from the abbreviation for three rather pejorative Hebrew words meaning fool, "lowlife" and coarse of spirit. And he resides in the vacant part of a well known New York City psychiatric hospital, his 150 quintillion followers clearly a product of his deluded imagination.

Meet Grand Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, fraudster extraordinaire and recipient of the 2009 Nobel Prize for Economics. Never mind that his own existence is a subject of much doubt; he has fraudulently masterminded the granting of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Mubarak Saddam Hussein Obama as well as the granting of the economics prize to his own very self.

Yet, there are many who would argue that anyone who can successfully register 150 quintillion souls for various and sundry entitlement programs throughout the world, claim huge daily insurance payouts on burned properties which do not show on any maps, and maintain both a diagnosis of clinical insanity and his own independent country, is clearly worthy of some prize for economics.

After all, Grand Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, who admits in his authorized biography that he received higher rabbinical ordination by sending boxtops of kosher cereal to what probably was a prank offer orchestrated either by himself or a co-conspirator, has essentially created his own economy, in which his welfare and subsidy cheques as well as his insurance payouts are used to finance yet more fraud.

For instance, according to forged corporate records in the "Annals of the Great and Exalted Republic of Schmoigermania", one of the four or five registered names of the Rabbi's political entity which is located on the grounds of the Creedmoor Psychiatric Center, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman or his affiliated congregations own controlling shares in most every major insurer throughout the world. This of course enables him to pay out policies on his own properties that do not seem to exist, although it is said that he inspires a few real world followers to commit acts of arson in order to profit from properties that have lost value due to the economic downturn.

Then, there is the Schmoigermanic Bank of Creedmoor, Alcatraz Branch, which issues foodstamps in very odd denominations, bearing only a slight resemblance to authentic United States issued food stamps and accepted only by a strange cabal of grocers who seem to have ties to the rump "Neturei Karta" (Ku Klutz Kartel) of Monsey, New York and Manchester, UK. These grocers purchase the Schmoigermanic stamps from the Bank at a price somewhere between ten and fifteen cents on the dollar to return to customers who insist on change in cash for food stamp purchases (illegal) and then accept the stamps along with 138% of the purchase price in actual stamps for purchases of prepared food, household chemicals (especially kerosene) and other items that are not sold legally in exchange for food stamps.

And when the Admou"r runs out of food stamps to fund more and more audacious fraud projects, including, for instance, the sale of defective or expended American and European medical equipment to Fourth, Fifth and Sixth world nations (it is believed there is a Dovid Azazel Schmoigerman Street in Mogadishu, Somalia, so named by a grateful warlord who was able to use the Schmoigerman fraud machine to launder money in Schmoigerman's certified Maytag and Siemens washing machines), he simply prints more and more, and trades it for the sovereignty of his country by allowing holders of American, EU and especially Iranian currency to invest in "Schmoigermania" by purchasing "Hyliger Dreck Bonds" which boast an annual interest rate of 1600% paid out in of course Schmoigerman bucks.

If the average reader does not understand this, he need look only to the economy in the United States of America, whose President just won a Nobel Peace Prize thanks to the efforts of Schmoigerman affiliated judges "50 Cent", Beyonce Knowles, Michael Moore, and Perez Hilton. The United States under the Hussein Obama administration simply prints money to fund the purchase of defunct automobile firms, as well as to bail out insurance companies. This in turn devalues its currency, real estate and other investment vehicles so that Chinese investors, as well as Arabs who expensively feed American appetites for petroleum, are able to purchase the country's strategic assets for pennies on the devalued dollar.

The main difference is that Schmoigerman seems to have no tangible assets whatsoever except holdings in a small kokosh cake bakery located in the basement of a Rockland County Chassidic enclave. Then again, said "Kalman's Kushin Tuches Kokosh Kake Fabrik" is held free and clear by its investors. American assets are mortgaged to the hilt as the US digs itself further and further into debt.

So, Dovid Azazel Schmoigerman, who turns phantom assets into real money, and maintains both a sovereign nation and a vehicle for obtaining welfare from most of the free world, received the Nobel Prize for Economics.

And Mubarak Saddam Hussein Obama, who turns real assets into real liabilities, compromises the economic sovereignty of the United States and turns it into a vehicle for cheap sale to the highest bidder from the not so free world, received the Nobel Peace Prize.