Sunday, August 07, 2005

2002 :Pesach in Creedmoor (Purim Sheini)

"All of clal yisroel who walk in the light of the flickering low wattage bulb of Chassidus Creedmoor are to drink four litres of wine to celebrate the four punishments of the Beis Din, which will be meted out to the evil Zionists at the time of redemption of my food stamps. I warn all of clal yisroel that Thorazine is an evil Zionist plot, and must be avoided. Only foods, including bread and ham, which are certified kasher lepurim sheini by the CRC (Creedmoor Rabbinical Council - not the Satmar or Chicago CRC) may be eaten during the feast. A special Haggadah written by Moshe Hirsch will be recited, of which an excerpt follows:

Go and learn what the evil Zionists did to our forefathers, for it is written; And on the day when my Thorazine ran out, I went down to the Kupat Holim and they refused to renew my prescription. So I screamed that Zionism is the root of all evil, and my voice was heard by Yasser Arafat, who elevated me to Minister of Jewish Affairs in his cabinet. And I bless my disciple the Admou"r meCreedmoor and all others who heed the voice of the tzorer hayehudim and all other voices that they may hear, and refuse to wear anything other than the shtreimel of tin foil as long as the evil Zionists continue to defile Uganda...."

Signed and sealed, Addledeinu Moroneinu veRabideinu Melech Hamasriach Shlita of Creedmoor, Erev Rov of Thorazina and the surrounding Risperidonian communities, and Av Beis Din d'Arba Misos Beis Din veMalkos. Zechuso yagen lo aleinu...

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