Friday, August 05, 2005

Urgent Appeal for the Rebuilding of the Creedmoorer Beis Medrash

Rochmonis cases bnei rochmonis cases! Last night, the fire that is our Admou"r sheyirfa"sh consumed his own hyliger Beis Medrash - Beis Medrash Sinos Chinom d'Creedmoor. While the premises were insured five times with five different companies, the proceeds of the policies are insufficient to rebuild the Beis Medrash according to our standards. The Admou"r always spoke of building a 100,000 square foot beis medrash made entirely of tin foil made by achynee B'nai Yishmoel and fully padded on the inside. It seemed as if we finally reached our goal, but Hymie the Hymisher Fire Adjuster needed to take a 50% commission in order to obtain the full proceeds of the policies for us. This leaves us with a mere 10,000,000 dollars to build our Beis Medrash!

I ask, what can you build for 10,800,000 dollars these days? We must immediately raise 10,000,000 more dollars to build the Worldwide Center for Delaying the Coming of the Moshiach, in its full glory according to the traditions of Creedmoor. The new Beis Medrash will feature walls of the purest tin foil, from factories in Ramallah, Khan Yunis, and Jeddah. Even the padding must be imported from Malaysia so that it is free of any chashash tumas Tziyoinis. Please be generous in supporting this unique institution of bitul Toyre, sinos chinom, loshon horo, verishis.

All contributions should be made to:

Creedmoorer Reconstruction Fund
c/o Rabbanit Myriam Abacha
Third Stand from the Right, Fourth Row
Lagos Central Meat Market
Lagos, Nigeria
or to account number 000012567756985 in Bank of Palestine, Ramallah, Palestinian Authority, Swift SUCK ERRR

Contributions may also be delivered to
Rabbi Jacob Ferdganver
Rosh Kollel
Leavenworth Federal Kollel
Leavenworth, Kentucky 56856.

In the merit of your generous contribution, may we never live to see the coming of Moshiach, and may we witness the rapid destruction of the Zionist entity and the building of a beis mikdash shekuloi tinfoil on top of the Petronas tower in Malaysia.

In the name of Addledaynee, Moronaynee veRabidaynee Dovid'l Schmoigerman Creedmoorer:

Rabbi Bilaam Dreckmacher, Head of Building Committee

Architect Naval Tzifallener, Chief Architect

Rabbi Shelumiel Shakrany, Financial Adviser

3 comments:

anonymous said...

wtf is a rabanit?

Der Shygetz said...

Rabbanit is the Hebrew/non-Ashkenazic variant of Rebbetzin, meaning a rabbi's wife! Rabbanit Abacha is the wife of Rav Nissim Abacha, who has 300,000,000 (tirty touzend) dollars in a Swiss bank account because his father was an Israeli diamond dealer who was killed by the new regime....and you know the rest :)!

erica Lubavitch said...

At least we know your clothing were not burnt in the fire.