Thursday, August 18, 2005

The "Porkois Oyl" Seminary - Creedmoorer Seminary for Post High School Girls

Be'ezras hashish yisburech, we have had an unparalleled number of applications for our new yeshiva. We immediately realised that its graduates would need a source of appropriate shidduch material. Therefore, we are pleased to announce the opening of the new "Porkois Oyl Seminary - Rebbetzin Nafke Zaine Feketeszar Campus"

When Rebbetzin Nafke Zaine Feketeszar was stricken from the welfare, section 8, and SSI rolls last Thursday after a long and arduous investigation which not even the Admou"r could prevent, her husband asked what could be done in her virtual memory. The Admou"r came up with a quick answer - as always, he produced title deeds saying that the C-ward swimming pool and gym, which was abandoned at the beginning of this year, was registered to "K'hal Anshei Domim ve'Mirma d'Va'ad Chassidei Creedmoor ho'Olami," which meant that it could be used for "educational and worship purposes."

And this is the beginning of our dream. Our seminary has been founded in order to prepare girls from all communities, girls who exhibit characteristics that may make them unwelcome at other seminaries, but which we at Creedmoor value more than ever, for a life as the n'shei chayil of our Yeshiva graduates or even as the n'shei chayil of other Seminary girls and their teachers. B'nois Avyro welcomes girls who have been expelled from one or more seminaries for licentiousness, promiscuity, drug abuse, failure to attend, etc, as well as girls who are considered by their present communities as being of the geder known as "yenta," "yachne," or "cholerye."

Our classes will be conducted at our new campus, and we feature field trips to 42nd Street and various small women's prayer groups in Brooklyn for intensive instruction in that which will please a graduate or kollel yungermann from our yeshiva or Federal koillel.

In addition, the steady diet of starchy foods and chozzerfleisch sausages that we will feed to the girls will ensure that they live up to the nickname under which we want our Porkois Oyl girls to be known - namely, Porkers.

If your daughter fits into any of these categories, contact Rebbetzin Zeresh Moisershteyn via the Creedmoor Moisdois main switchboard at 1-888-MIS-HIGE.


Tomboy said...

Oh, I likes. I suggest opening the local branch of Porkers Anonymous, since this one is downright gonna be a hit!

ps. Missing ya!


Der Shygetz said...

I'll always be here - and you can get back on you know where very easily :).