Friday, June 19, 2009

Cohen: My segeela got Mahmoud the election


Interviewed in his Manchester congregation "Khal Uber u'Botul", Rabbi Aharon Cohen, Ambassador to Iran on behalf of the Independent Republic of Baseless Hatred and Extreme anti-Zionism of Creedmoor, revealed his secret segeela which he claims was the reason for the success of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the recent Iranian elections:

"I give to Mahmoud zeyr spetzial a segeela! I mach far em tefillin mit der verses fin der Koran inside. From where I am gettink dem? Fin myne chaver Mohammed's a cab, he keeps dem on hiz deshboard for good luck. I see what Mohammed is managink to charge me triple for a short ride fin myne home to myne basement every day and it must be a gitte segile!"

Cohen is forced to take a cab from his own home to his own basement (accessible only from the rear entrance) due to his increasing age, long since encroached senility, and his fear of being bombarded with a quantity of eggs sufficient to feed the entire Royal Navy.

His faithful driver, Mohammed, is a native of Baluchistan and a member of "British Friends of the Taliban".

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