BS"D
It has become very apparent that the recent resounding victory of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in the Iranian national elections was the work of none other than the absentee Chief Rabbi of Iran, Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman.
In exchange for the position of Minister of Entitlement Program Fraud in the next Ahmadinejad government, as well as the exclusive franchise to market Farschimelt Kokosh Cake, Schmoigerman enlisted no less than 80 trillion of his phantom personalities to vote for Ahmadinejad in the highly contested elections.
It has also been rumored that Schmoigerman and Ahmadinejad confidant Rabbi Aharon Cohen, of the Community of Complete Excommunication of Manchester, England and known as the Chyremer Rov, will be appointed Iranian Ambassador to the Fictitious Entity of Palestine, as well as Chief Nuclear Explosion Test Subject of the Most Exalted Nuclear Program of the "An Islamic Pistachio is Much Smaller than a Central American Banana Republic of Iran".
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