The Petek and the Nigun - A Revelation from the Admou"r

BS"D

Today, at the notorious Creedmoorer Mitvoch Shabbos Tisch, the Admou"r meCreedmoor shared a stunning revelation with his 150 quintillion Chassidim:

"When I was first diagnosed with multiple personality syndrome, a man in a white coat handed me a mysterious note. On it was written:

'My insurance fires will burn until the end of time. Lama ma ma ma nikra Creedmooriah'.

I did not know what this meant until I realized that it was a message to me to continue burning buildings for insurance purposes while living in Creedmoor until the end of time. And I was of course to call our Chassidus after this holy and exalted place, the place to which the Shechina, the holy presence of the yetzer horo, is exiled but is released in blinding brilliance every time another building is burned."

And I have composed a niggun to remind all of the great segula which we must recite whenever we are approached by an officer of the law of the great Soton, the United States of Americhke, to which we owe no allegiance and from which we receive much welfare. Since the officers of the law do not understand the Zionist tongue, and since they are profane and may not be spoken to in Hungarian, I have composed the niggun in Tzioinish":

Mi shesaraf lo et habinyan lebituach
Zu Creedmooriah
Hu yekabel mikem et kol caspeichem
Bayoim hazeh

Lama, ma, ma, ma Nikra Creedmooriah
Al shem meshugaim
Vemetorafim
Sheyehsno sham (2x)

Mi shechotem arba paamim lewelfare
Zu Creedmooriah
Hu yekabel mikem et kol caspeichem
Bayoim hazeh

Lama, ma, ma, ma Nikra Creedmooriah
Al shem meshugaim
Vemetorafim
Sheyehsno sham (2x)

Mi sheyashav lo shnatayim bebeit sohar
Zu Creedmooriah
Hu yetze misham, ish ashir leolam
Bayoim hazeh

Lama, ma, ma, ma Nikra Creedmooriah
Al shem meshugaim
Vemetorafim
Sheyehsno sham (2x)

The Admou"r then instructed his bravest followers to call themselves Lama Ma Ma Ma's and to stop traffic and carjack as many cars as they could while dancing to this tune and screaming Lama Ma Ma Ma Nikra Creedmooriah in the middle of the street.

Thus, the Admou"r hopes to establish himself as a major player in the lucrative field of automotive theft, and related automotive insurance and accident fraud.