Friday, September 18, 2009

Schmoigerman: This year 5770 is "Tizoik Shygetz Aross!"


"I hereby proclaim that for we who are untainted by timas hatzioinis and therefore do not follow the kefiradige tzoinishe spelling rules which are unacceptable to achynee bnye Yishmoel bekoil mokoim shehem, this year is to be known as Tizoik Shygetz Aross.

According to the rules for spelling loshoin haivris and also loshon horo in the hyliger Divrye Timtim HaLyve vehaMoiach, we spell Shygetz Aross with the same first letters as Shilchon Orich (a book of tzioinish kefire especially the section of Choishen Mishpot which we totally disobey in every waking moment of our lives as chassidei Creedmoor) and Shulem Alyechem.

All of these begin with Shin Ayin only because we can't change the alphabet to make them begin with Pye Tzaddik which is the true madryge we all strive to reach by the shouting of Shygetz Aross, the negation of the Shilchon Orich and the promotion of machloikes so as to stamp out the very name of the kefiradige author and desecrator of the mameloshen Shulem Alyechem who is tiff, tiff in der erd serving tea to Ben Gurion.

So let this year be one of shouting Shygetz Aross with great joy and enthusiasm so as to prolong this Golis and make sure that the only redemption is that of the double coupon for items purchased with food stamps at your local Pathmark.

Shnas skila, sryfe, hereg, chenek, and may we be zoiche together tzi der krisois in der misois!"

Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman, first and foremost in the promotion of strife, discord, fraud, deceit and Affirmative Action for 150 quintillion holy personalities kein yirbu!

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