Friday, September 25, 2009

Schmoigerman Delineates Procedure for Kappoores


"I hereby proclaim that it is most meritorious to expunge our sins by circling a burning Zionist flag around our heads 5708 times to expunge the terrible sin which was created in 5708.

Then, this flag should be thrown into a heavily insured chicken coop as a reminder of the chickenly cowardice of the Zionist regime.

We invite all of you who walk in the extinguished light of Chassidus Creedmoor to participate in our "A Kappoooore" on Monday morning, Tzioinish Yom Kippur, at 6 AM, in the Azoroh of the Creedmoorer Beis Mikdosh, formerly known as D-ward Exercise Yard, Ir HaKoidesh Creedmoor, Queens, Republic of the Great Satan leminyehem otherwise known as the Independent Anti-Zionist Republic of the Most Exalted Congregation of Baseless Hatred of Creedmoor.

Guests will include His Highness Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, The Most Exalted Blathering Fool El Hajj Muammar el-KaDaffy, and our dear partners in sinas chinom and anti-Zionism who are members of the Westboro Baptist Church.

Thanks to an anonymous donor, flags for kappoores will be available at a reduced price of only 600 food-shtempelach for a standard one square meter flag, sewn by certified burqa weavers in Talibanistan. A less expensive Iranian chador-weaver made model will be available for 360 food-shtempelach per month for 10 months.

Beroiv sreyfo hadras oifos."

-Ben Yochid d'Sitra Achra, Roish uRishoin beGayves veTayves, Admou"r for Life of the Holy Congregations of Creedmoor, Alcatraz and Sheoil Tachtis, Arva deRabbonon Dovid Azazel Schmoigerman, son of Rov Koirach Schmoigerman of Karnotzelvar, Afghanistan."

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