Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Grand Rabbi Schmoigerman Prohibits Birkas HaChama!
The Grand Rabbi of the Cretinaceous Constellation of Congregations of Creedmoor, Admou"r Dovid Schmoigerman, has condemned and prohibited the saying of Birkas haChama tomorrow or on any day except December 25.
"Dis is nonsense. The Tzioinim make up this brooche they should trick us into sayink dat the sun is where it is on first day the medine is founded!
We fin Creedmoor are opposed in any case to light in any form because inzerer emina is based on choishech, darkness. If ever a bissele licht, a bit from light, was to seep into inzerer community all dat we is standing for and even sitting for, gezel, mirma, shfichis domim, gilui arayis, arson end gross fraud, is sure to melt away in the sunlight!
So I am sayink dat we iz havink to make sure never to say no brooches far light and sun azoy vi inzerer vaig iz der vaig fin finsterliche choishech, doubled and redoubled darkness that must never, ever see light!
However on December 25th is the light in which is walking the goyim who is makink sure we is able to get all fin inzere subsidies end velfare end insurance and for them it is recumbent upon us to say a brooche!"