How to donate used Pesach tinfoil to "Foil for Fools":

BS"D

As the Zionist chag draws to an end especially in the Zionist entity, the Admou"r meCreedmoor is once again pleased to be able to offer the invaluable service of tinfoil collection to Tzionish households throughout the world.

All used tinfoil will be recycled to make tin foil yarmulkes, shtreimlach and fedoras. Thanks to your generous donations, the increasing number of apprehended hymish scam artists and white collar criminals will be able to wear tin foil head gear at trial and sentencing hearings. Therefore, our proud machers and knackers can successfully convince judges that they are not guilty or not sentenceable by reason of insanity.

This will spare so many households the loss of their breadwinners, and so many nshei chayil the loss of their Lexuses, chandeliers, 3000 dollar sheitlach and Prada tichlach.

However, we request that before you mail your tinfoil to us (no postage please and no return address so that it will be delivered to us postage due, and in turn we can pay with counterfeit food stamps and the like) that you heat it with a blowtorch and then toivel it in a mikveh (with at least a rating of 80 on the loshon horo scale) to remove any and all chashash tumas haTzioinis.

Please mail all used and duly prepared tin foil to:

Foil for Fools

D-Ward - Beis Schmoigerman 

Merkoz Mishegoyim

Creedmoor Psychiatric Center

Independent Anti-Zionist Republic of the Disjointed Anti-Zionist Communities of Creedmoor and Similar Unpleasant Happenings

Queens Village, Queens, Hymieshtodt

Occupied Zionist Territory of the Tryfe Medine of America

11427

Thank you and may your generous donations and our generous use of the insanity defense prevent the final redemption of anything other than triple coupons for more tin foil at the nearest tzioinish supermarket.

Grand Rabbi Dovid Schmoigerman.