Thursday, May 28, 2009

Emergency Psak from the Admou"r - Listening to the 10 Commandments


As we do not believe in the Tzionish commandment of Loi Signoiv, we instruct all of our followers who limp in the flickering light of the burned out one watt bulb of Chassidus Creedmoor to stamp their feet and shout "Shygetz Aross" should they find themselves in a Tzioinish minyan where all 10 commandments are recited. And those who do this during Loi Sachmoid as well are especially worthy of praise and an extra piece of "Schmoigerman's Cholov Yisroel Parve Lard Cheesecake".

Should said cheesecake not be available at your Tzioini synagogue kiddush, I refer you to my prior psak regarding the permissibility of transacting business with US currency on Yom Tov, as it is considered tumas hatzioinis. Therefore, said cheesecake can be purchased on Yom Tov d'Tzioinim but with currency only and not with food stamps which indeed are legal tender according to the Darchei Shoid v'Gezel.

Regarding the use of counterfeit versus legitimate food stamps to make purchases on Tzioinish Yomim Toivim, it is remarkable that the sons and daughters, real as well as those existing only for purpose of receiving subsidies, of this weak and damaged generation in its Zionist induced darkness and prevailing ignorance do not understand that all Creedmoorer food stamps are counterfeit so that there is a severe problem of maris ayin regarding purchases made with legitimate food stamps which indeed are negiim betumas hatzioinis.

The ideal situation would be to make purchases using counterfeit US currency so long as there is no risk of detection.

Signed this day of 56789 Av 5708, in the 61st year of mourning of the Naqba.

-Dovid Schmoigerman, av arba misois beis din veavi avois hatuma d'Perud Kehillois Creedmoor, Creedmoor, Alcatraz and Teheran.

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