Newsflash (IPRNA - Iranian Pistachio Republic News Agency)
It has been confirmed that the Iranian nuclear weapons program, now assisted by the building arm of the Independent Anti-Zionist Republic of Baseless Hatred of Creedmoor, has inadvertently detonated a thirty four megaton nuclear device on the planet Jupiter.
Said explosion was carried out for insurance purposes, as the Creedmoorer Entity has produced title deeds to several abandoned warehouses located on Jupiter. All warehouses were heavily insured before the accident took place.
As insurance inspectors are not able to travel to nuclear irradiated sites on Jupiter, the payouts have been approved and payment has been made to the leader of the Creedmoorer Entity, Rabbi David Schmoigerman.
Rabbi Schmoigerman has guaranteed that our nuclear weapons can now be used to eradicate insured property throughout the realm of the Great Satan and the Zionist entity, and indeed throughout the solar system and all other galaxies. We salute the great and mighty deeds of our partner, who has made it possible for us to eradicate all enemies of Islam at a very great and mighty profit.
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