Thursday, July 14, 2005

Chyrem of the Week - Jewish Music Banned by Admou"r

Rabbi Ferdel Luftmensch, Rosh Koilel of Koilel Mevakshei Kesef d'Creedmoor, announces the following:

In these dark days of Golus, which we who walk in the dim light of the flickering fir vatt lichtbulb that is Creedmoor Chassidis so much want to prolong, there is a certain type of music that is masquerading as Jewish Music, but that is emmesdike tryfe.
Such music stems from the lowest depths of civilisation; namely the desire to bring about the Redemption (NOT the redemption of forged food stamps, which is the goal of our hyliger community vesha'ar marin bishin)
We therefore place the following types of music in cherem:
1) Any song with words that express a yearning for Geula and Moshiach.
2) Any song which is upbeat or happy in any way.
3) Any song which refers to Yerushalayim or Tziyoin.
4) Any song which does not contain the phrase "Shygetz Aroys" or "Shiksa, Gy Avek, " or the word "Reshoim," with the exception of songs which call for the abolition of the Zionist Entity.
We hereby proclaim that the only Jewish music which meets with our approval is:
1) "Hashym Heee Malkaynee" (Neturei Karta anthem)
2) Ana bahra Israil (I Hate Israel) - Sha'aban Abdel Raheem (Egypt)
3) We will IY"H be producing an album of Creedmoorer niggunim called "Rinos Reshoim," and recorded by Reb Lipman Schmaltzherring, our esteemed Chazzer, along with the Creedmoorer Nambla Kinderlach Boys Choir, featuring guest soloists Avirom Ferdkopf and Chilul Schvantz.
May we never, ever be able to see the rebuilt Bais Hamikdash in our days, and may we continue to live our lives in the spirit of sinos chinom and rishus.
Rabbi Ferdel Luftmensch.
I hereby affix my approbation, and also my 30 years of probation, to the above:
Addledaynee, Moronaynee, veRabidaynee Dovid'l Creedmoorer

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