Rabbi Schmendrik'l Tziglschafter, Principal of the Ahavas Neorim Cheder of Creedmoor, is well known for his "Gimpel and Genendel" series, starring two of his children. Now, he brings us a video starring his son alone (his daughter is now 12 and has begun her studies at Beis Prutza d'Creedmoor).
The video tells us how Gimpel visits his Rebbe, the Admou"r meCreedmoor, who shows him how to build an automatic arba misois beis din machine.
Here are some excerpts from Part 1 - The Skila Seesaw.
Admou"r (played by Chazzan Lipman Schmaltzherring as the Admou"r is tone deaf due to the side effects of Thorazine and electroshock):
"When you see chilul shabbos throw those stones
First flip them off the cliff and break their bones"
Gimpel:
But how do I do that, K'void ho'Admou"r?
Admou"r:
Well, that is why we have the Special Skila Seesaw! You see, you put a rock in the back of your tatty's pickup truck, and then place a board on top!
Gimpel:
But you are not supposed to touch a truck on Shabbos!
Admou"r:
Ah, but you see, you are not 13 yet. And anyway, if you grow up to be a good Creedmoorer bochur, then when you really are 13, you will become a shoiteh! And a shoiteh can do whatever he wants on Shabbos!
Gimpel:
Can the Admou"r give me a brocho that I will become a shoiteh when I grow up?
Admou"r:
When you were born, I already gave your parents a brocho "that your son Gimpel should grow to be a Shmoiger - Shoite, Moiser, Gass Ruach - and since they are shoitim, you will probably also become a shoiteh!
Gimpel:
Ooo..thank you, Admou"r! I am so happy to be a Creedmoor yingele:
(song):
I'm so happy to be a Creedmoor boy
Because every other Yid is really a goy
Since I was three I shout Shygetz Aroys
And I'll do it with pride, in a great loud voice!
SHYYYYYYYYYYYY-GETZ AROYS!
Admou"r:
Gimpel, that was great! You really bring nachas to me and to your parents who raise you to be a good Creedmoorer Chossid and chilul shamayim! Now I will teach you how to use the Skila Seesaw!
All you do is - when you see someone not keeping Shabbos the way we do - or wearing clothes that we don't wear - you ask them to get on the pickup truck for a chance to win a big prize! Then, you tell them to sit on one end of the Special Skila Seesaw and when they do, you push down on the high end and watch them fly into the air and fall down hard! If there is a cliff nearby, that is the best!
When they fall down, then you take stones and throw them until the guy peygers! Isn't that fun?
Gimpel:
Oh, yes! This is really so much fun! I cannot wait to join the Shygetz Aroys Shabbos Patrol!
Admou"r:
Congratulations! You are now General Gimpel of the Tzivos ha-Shygetz!
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