Wednesday, July 13, 2005

An Urgent Appeal

Rachmones cases bnai rachmones cases! Our hearts cry out with the plight of a choshuve family of 10 hyliger neshomos, all walking in the flickering 4 watt bulb that is the light of Chassidus Creedmoor. Last week, the grandmother of the head of the family, a choshuver avreich who learns all day while collecting every possible government grant, was disconnected from life support after four years of ptira. This means that the avreich's family can no longer collect Social Security, SSI, disability payments, Section 8, Senior Citizen Rent Increase Exemptions, kickbacks from doctors and medical supply firms, and many other sources of income that they were collecting for the year during which she was ill and the four years since she was niftr geven. This leaves the family practically destitute - their present subsidies cannot cover the 2000 dollar shytlach, payments on a Lexus and a Jaguar, trips to Kever Arafat in Ramallah, 150,000 dollar weddings, and other necessities of an average Creedmoorer family.

So, we, the undersigned, arvei d'rabbonon and peyos d'tzadikei of our generation, ask you, hard working freierlach, to empty your pockets and subsidise the lifestyle of an up and coming family of ba'alei aveiros and reshoim! Please give generously to:

Keren Shlimazzl
Room 98, D-ward
80-45 Winchester Boulevard
Queens Village, NY 11427
In the merit of this great chessed, may your family continue to collect welfare, SSI, disability, and section-8 for generations to come, misoich phony illnesses, faked disabilities, imagined poverty, and utter laziness.
The Admou"r meCreedmoor bekvoidoi ibeatzmoi
Rabbi Bilom Geldchapper, Av Beis Din, Arba Misois Beis Din d'Creedmoor
Rabbi Shelumiel Schmendrikovitz, Chairman, Chessed l'Koirach Fund of Creedmoor veShaar Marin Bishin
Rabbi Kalev Hunt Zilberschlepper, Rosh Yeshiva, Yeshiva veKoillel Rinos Reshoim d'Creedmoor