Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Safari Rabbi - Rabbi Eizel Loebendreck - is in Chyrem, chamor

Creedmoorer Chassid and principal of the Mesivta Ahavas Ne'orim d'Creedmoor, Rabbi Eizel Loebendreck a/k/a The Safari Rabbi, has been placed in Chyrem, chamor by the Arba Misos Byes Din d'Creedmoor!

The rabbi, who ran a popular series of excursions to safari parks for Creedmoorer Chassidim who wished to learn to imitate animal behaviour, was placed in Chyrem for his book "The True Age of the Admou"r," in which he claimed that his Rebbe could not be a reincarnation of Koirach because his DNA corresponds to that of the Shmohawk Indian tribe of Upper New York State. In addition, Rabbi Loebendreck claimed that he himself is descended from Bilaam's donkey, which is not possible as if that were the case, he would also be related to the Admou"r and this is not so. Then again, maybe it is so - the Erev Rav never did keep accurate records.

Chyrem, chamor in the Creedmoorer community consists of being forced to march around the perimeter of the Creedmoor D-ward and Kiryas Naye Creedmoor complex holding at least one Creedmoorer Sefer Torah, which is available in pink, green, blue and white and wrapped in a package marked "Scottissue."

Creedmoorer sifrei torah are remarkable for their small size, soft parchment and lack of script - as well as the insistence that each sefer be comprised of 1000 sheets, "because 1000 sheets last longer than the Zionist entity!"

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